


The Warmth Of The Sun

by LostAndDelirious



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/F, Friends to Lovers, beach, beach things, clexa au, clexa modern au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:40:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 33,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26328790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostAndDelirious/pseuds/LostAndDelirious
Summary: What happens when two childhood friends, turned lovers, reunite after over a decade?
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 54
Kudos: 311





	1. All Summer Long

**Author's Note:**

> I must say, this was a true labor of love.
> 
> This has been a summer-long project of mine. You have @kay_be to thank for pushing me to pursue this idea. @HurricaneJane to thank for spending countless hours with me ideating and helping bring the story to life (while also wracking my brain to put it to use and work on a better writing process for myself). @TheProseOfNight for being an amazing beta while simultaneously teaching me how to punctuate properly and dig a little deeper to get a better story.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reunion.

The warmth of the sun was a sure sign that the beginning of summer was on the horizon. It was a blissful time for the locals in town. It meant that the next few weekends were a time for themselves. Time to enjoy their space, enjoy their beaches, enjoy their local restaurants and haunts, all before the influx of the shoobies was set to arrive at the beachfront rentals in Ocean City.

Lexa took a look around the small dining room, six four-top tables, each with a few people scattered, enjoying plates of crabcakes or lobster rolls—the group inside was made up of local fisherman, local shop owners, and longtime neighbors.

“Lex, I’ve got it covered,” Echo called out from behind the counter, urging yet again. “Why don’t you head out for a bit before our dinner orders start flooding. The sun will do you some good.”

Lexa turned to face her, hesitant. Echo was a fellow townie and her right-hand when it came to running the Surfer Snack Shack, “You sure?”

“Wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t,” Echo shrugged as she slathered a creamy sauce onto an ear of freshly grilled corn. “Catch some rays and just be back by four, I’ll be fine.”

Appreciative, Lexa offered her a smile and nod. She dusted her hands on the tattered apron she had on before removing it , “Okay, yeah. Thanks. Just call me if anything comes up.”

Echo waved her off with the spatula in her hand. The interaction was routine between the two—Echo had always pushed Lexa to take some time for herself, and Lexa almost always ended up giving in. They had grown up in the same neighborhood on the outskirts of Drum Point together, their families had always known each other. When Lexa made the decision to buy the old joint from Gus, she knew that Echo would be the right person to have by her side.

As Lexa stepped out of the doorway, she was met with the beating of the mid-May sun and cool breeze that she had always been in love with. The sight of the ocean appeared close in the distance, and the scent of saltwater and sand filled her senses. She took her time, making her way down to the beach locker and enjoying every bit of the familiar walk. She found the blue bin with “WOODS” spray-painted with bold black letters and unlocked the padlock. The lack of her favorite chair only meant one thing: Anya was already on the beach.

“You stole my chair,” Lexa let out a tired sigh as she set a sub-par alternative next to Anya, who appeared to be relaxing with her eyes closed.

“I borrowed it,” Anya corrected her without hesitation. She turned to face Lexa and lifted her sunglasses to rest on the top of her head, “Plus, I have more time to use it than you do, it practically belongs to me anyway.”

And she wasn’t wrong. Anya being a property manager in the area had its perks, especially before the mad rush of summer visitors fled in for vacation.

“Skewed logic,” Lexa offered as she finally took a seat. “How am I supposed to nap in this thing?” Lexa pointed to where the missing headrest should have been laying. When she grabbed the chair, she had certainly forgotten how it had seen better days prior to last summer’s end-of-season bonfire.

Recalling the incident, Anya shrugged with a grin, “It’s not my fault that Linc had too many shitty beers and decided to show off his Hulk-like strength to that group of shoobies. It’s also not my fault that you were late to our annual season kick-off today. Was the shack slammed?” The nickname for the restaurant had gone way back to when they were kids.

“No,” Lexa sat back as she tried to get as comfortable as the seat would allow her to. “I just felt bad leaving Echo, we had a few people in there.”

“She’s fine, Lex. Always is, always will be,” Anya replied. “Anyway, the sun will do you some good.”

“That’s what she told me, too,” Lexa shook her head as she wondered if the consistency between her two friends was telling of something.

Anya smirked at the knowledge, “Well, the two of us know you better than anyone else. So, we’re probably right.”

“The two of you are annoying,” Lexa countered, even though she knew there was truth behind Anya’s words.

“The two of us just care about you,” Anya let out a concerned breath. “I’m proud of you, Lex, but you work too hard. We just want to make sure you’re actually taking care of yourself.” Anya had seen it all firsthand, she had been through the emotional journey with Lexa. She wasn’t at her side at the shack the way Echo was, but she had been her rock their whole lives, and she planned on being that person for many years to come.

“I know,” Lexa sighed in exhaustion. “I know.”

“Take a nap,” Anya offered. “I’ll wake you up in an hour or two so you can get back to making those tasty crabcakes of yours.”

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded. She flashed an appreciative smile as she leaned deeper into her seat. “Thanks.”

\---

“Well, I’ll be damned.”

The disbelief in her best friend’s voice woke Lexa from her beach-dazed nap. Her eyes slowly opened to face Anya, and was met with a look of shock.

Confused and sluggish, Lexa finally spoke, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost, Ahn.”

“I think I have,” she offered, eyes still affixed into the distance.

Lexa finally turned to see where Anya’s gaze had wandered, and realized the disbelief was warranted. No less than fifty feet away, and the ghost was made clear. After vanishing from their lives eleven years ago, Clarke Griffin had finally come back.

The sound of crashing waves were suddenly silenced by the look coming from the blue eyes in the distance—a look that Lexa had nearly forgotten. Clarke Griffin was back, and the familiar gaze that was now being cast in her direction brought a nostalgic swell to her chest.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Lexa repeated in a whisper, her eyes still fixed onto the ones staring back at her, while the beating of her heart sped to match the flutters of the butterflies in her stomach.

Anya sat up straighter and leveled her shoulders, “I, for one, was not expecting this today. Or any other day, honestly. Ever.” She didn’t have to ask Lexa. Didn’t even have to see the look on her face. She could already imagine the things churning in her best friend’s mind.

Lexa held her stare. Her eyes couldn’t help it. Clarke Griffin was back, and now was making her way towards them. Beach chair, tote bag, and all.

“She seriously went into the beach locker and took one of our chairs?” Anya’s voice grabbed Lexa’s attention back.

“My chair,” Lexa corrected. She was too wrapped up in her thoughts to offer anything else. Clarke pretty much looked the same as she did eleven years ago. The years had clearly been kind to her. Windblown blonde hair, mesmerizing eyes, and a figure that Lexa had always been weak in the knees for. She closed her eyes. Memories started to flood her mind. The laughs. The kisses. The touches. And then the gutting feeling she had been left with when it all went away.

“Same thing,” Anya retorted as Clarke grew closer. The grimace on her face grew larger with each step Clarke took towards them.

“Well, isn’t this a sight for sore eyes?” Clarke let out once she knew the other two were within earshot. “Glad to see nothing’s changed. Same spot, same beach chairs.”

“Looks like you helped yourself to one, too,” Anya eyed the chair in her hand. Spots of rust had eaten away at some of the metal and the once-bright blues and greens had faded to softer pastel shades because of the countless hours it had spent under the Maryland sun, but it was always the chair that Clarke would use from the Woods’ beach locker.

Clarke looked down at the folding chair and planted it a careful distance from the other two. Anya’s quip and Lexa’s silence made her realize an extra foot away from them wouldn’t hurt, “I wanted to see if the locker code had changed.”

Anya’s scowl was quick to show, “So you took it as an invitation to take one?”

“Well,” Clarke shrugged. “The other two were gone, so I figured you both would be down here.”

“Yeah, well,” Anya started. “Here we are. Right where you left us a decade ago.”

“Anya,” Clarke suddenly realized she was wrong to be hopeful about the reunion, she didn’t even dare correct her that it had been more than a decade. It was eleven years, to be exact. She sat back in her chair and looked to Lexa for any sort of inkling of how she was feeling. The blank stare she was met with said enough, “I have a lot to explain. To both of you. And I promise I will, but I just wanted to come down here and see if you were still around. To let you know that I’d be in town for a while.”

“How long?” Lexa finally broke her silence.

Clarke wanted to let out the biggest sigh of relief at the sound of Lexa’s voice, but knew that would be too much. Instead, she showed a hint of a smile. “For the summer,” she started. “At least.”

“I guess we’ll have some time for all that explaining, then,” Anya matter-of-factly stated.

“Yeah,” Clarke nodded.

“What time is it?” Lexa interrupted the exchange and turned to Anya. The current scenario wasn’t something she could have ever planned for, and the nerves coursing through her had her anxious to get off of the beach. “How long was I asleep for?”

Anya knew Lexa. That had always been the case between the two. She knew what Lexa needed in the moment, and she was ready to help her stage her exit, “You should probably head back to work now. It’s been a little while.”

Thankful for the out, Lexa started to stand up. “I should get going, then.”

“I’ll bring your chair back,” Anya nodded. “Actually, maybe the shoobie princess can on her way out. You know, since she still knows the locker code and everything.”

“Are you kicking me off the beach?” Clarke turned her head in confusion.

Anya rolled her eyes, “I don’t think I can legally do that. I just meant when you decided to leave.”

“Maybe we can talk for a little?” the hopefulness in Clarke’s voice broke through.

Anya shrugged at the pleading look, “Sure.”

Clarke nodded, then turned to Lexa who was readying to leave, “I was hoping we could talk, too. Maybe tonight when you’re done working?” She let a beat go by, “If you don’t have plans.”

“Come by the shack around 8:30,” Lexa offered. A contemplative look casted over her face, “It shouldn’t be too busy around then.”

“Great,” Clarke smiled. “I’ll be there. Should I bring anything?”

“Beer,” Lexa finally cracked some semblance of a smile. “Something tells me we’ll need a few of those.”

“I can do that,” Clarke nodded. “See you then.”

\---

They finally lost sight of Lexa as she walked towards the boardwalk and Clarke relaxed into her chair and took a big inhale of the salty sea air, “It feels nice to be back here.”

Anya nodded. Her apprehension had dissipated and she was now full of intrigue, “I’m sure it does. This is a great place.”

Clarke let a smile break through, “It really is.”

“So, as much as you may be enjoying beating around the bush,” Anya sat up straighter. “I’m going to have to cut to the chase here, Clarke. What brings you back?”

“I’m selling the house,” Clarke stared out at the water, not wanting to see whatever reaction Anya had. “I’m taking the summer to fix a few things up. My job’s letting me work the summer from down here, but hoping I can get it all done before August so I can list it.”

Anya blinked slowly, trying to piece together everything that Clarke just shared, “You’re selling Nana G’s house?”

“Yeah,” Clarke exhaled a defeated sigh. “It’s not that I want to. It’s just no one in my family has been down here since she passed.” She took another breath and finally turned to face her, “I just think it’s time.”

“With the way you vanished,” Anya lightly shook her head. “I should have realized you being back was probably for a shitty reason.”

“I’m here all summer,” Clarke tried to smooth the conversation.

“And then gone again.”

“What’s the issue, Anya?” Clarke suddenly felt the need to to defend herself, her voice was starting to raise. “Nana died, so I stopped coming down for the summer.”

“It was much more than that, and you know it,” Anya pointed out. “Things changed a lot after you disappeared the way you did.”

“Just because I’m selling the house doesn’t mean that I won’t ever come back down here,” Clarke tried.

“You haven’t been down here, let alone spoken to us since before Nana G died. It took you this long to come back, and the only reason you’re here is because you need to fix the house to sell it,” Anya scoffed. “Let’s just call a spade a spade.”

“Still sassy as ever,” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“I’ll always be sassy,” Anya sighed, before adding. “And I’ll always be protective of Lexa. Everyone knows that. You should know that.”

Clarke cocked her head, “What does Lexa have to do with me selling the house?”

“Really?”

“Really, what?” Clarke let herself sink back into the chair. “What does Lexa have to do with that?”

“Lexa has everything to do with this,” Anya took a deep breath, a needed bout of composure to not let her annoyance get the best of her. “She’s been through a lot over the years, Clarke. And not to mention how you left things with us,” she paused. “With her.” She rubbed her temple, “You guys spent years in denial about how you really felt—even when it was so clear to everyone else. Then when you both finally came to terms with it, when you finally got together, you vanished. And yes, Nana G passed away, but you didn’t answer any of our calls or texts when we heard and tried to reach out—even Lexa’s. She was fucking ready to borrow someone’s car just to drive up to New York to make sure you were okay. You were her first everything and then you disappeared on her.”

“We were seventeen, Anya,” Clarke let out a tired sigh. “We were kids.”

“Clarke,” Anya shook her head. “We were kids when we would sneak onto the beach after it closed. We were kids when you’d steal the neighbor’s extra longboard so we would be able to ride up and down the boardwalk before you got your own. We were kids when we all got those stupid henna tattoos every year. But you and Lexa?,” she paused. “What you and Lexa wound up becoming that summer? That wasn’t kid shit anymore.”

“Fine, so maybe it wasn’t,” Clarke backed down. “But that was a lifetime ago.”

“Maybe for you.”

“What,” The annoyance in Clarke’s voice became more prevalent. “You’re really going to sit here and tell me that since we were seventeen and I stopped coming down, that Lexa’s life has been miserable?”

“Don’t be an asshole, Clarke,” Anya sighed.

“So what do you want me to say, Anya?” Clarke asked.

Anya let out another exhale as she shook her head, “Nothing. You don’t have to say anything. I’m just here looking out for my best friend, okay? Someone needs to.”

“She was my best friend, too,” Clarke added.

“Was,” Anya pointed out.

Clarke sighed in defeat. “So what? I stay this summer to fix the house and do my best to steer clear of you guys?”

“Clarke,” Anya’s voice softened. “I’ve said my part, okay? And I only said it because I’m not sure Lexa ever would. But she’s a big girl and she can decide what she wants or doesn’t want from you.”

“And what about you?” Clarke asked.

“Well if you’re going to be here for the whole summer, I guess I’m going to have to look forward to getting to know the new, fancy Clarke Griffin,” Anya sighed as she took keen notice of Clarke’s appearance.

The Clarke Griffin that they were used to was always outfitted in beat up t-shirts and tanks, with shorts clad with ice cream and taffy stains. The Clarke Griffin that was presently on the beach managed to make daytime beachwear look sleek and expensive.

Glad that the tough part of the conversation was seemingly out of the way, Clarke rolled her eyes before flashing a tired smile, “Ha. I’m boring now.”

“So are we,” Anya shrugged before she relaxed back into her chair.

\---

“So, this has been fun,” Clarke let out an awkward laugh as they folded up their chairs.

“I said what needed to be said,” Anya shrugged. “But I guess it was good to see you. You heading to the shack now?”

“I’m going to run to the house and shower,” Clarke looked down at herself. “Make myself a bit more presentable.”

Anya gave Clarke a knowing look, “I see.”

“I haven’t seen her in eleven years, I just want to look nice,” Clarke didn’t know if the confession was necessary, but she wanted Anya to realize that part of her still cared. “Plus, I need to put on my Sunday best if I’m going to be eating one of Gus’ lobster rolls tonight.”

“Oh,” Anya laughed. “Guess I failed to mention that someone else is running the shack these days, but I’ll let Lexa fill you in.”

The comment flew over Clarke’s head as she offered Anya an embrace to say goodbye for the evening.

“Hope tonight goes well,” Anya said into the hug. “You should give Linc a visit at the hardware store if you think you’ll need a hand with the house. He’s running the shop now.”

Clarke couldn’t help but smile at the mention of him, “Good to know. Thanks.”

Anya finally let go of the embrace. “Get out of here so you can get ready. Don’t want to keep our little Lexa waiting.”

“Our Lexa,” Clarke repeated hesitantly. She wanted to believe it was true, but after hearing what Anya had to say earlier, something inside her stopped her from getting her hopes up.

“Yep,” Anya nodded with a bit of encouragement. She had seen Lexa’s misery firsthand. And though Clarke was the cause of it, a part of her still knew it was probably just as hard for her, “I’m sure I’ll see you soon.”

\---

The walk back to the house, though familiar, felt extraordinarily different than it had ever been in the past. The sidewalks of Drum Point were still lined with lilac sea breezes and tall Elijah Blues, and the scent of saltwater still wafted from the ocean. But despite knowing her Nana wouldn’t be there waiting, her walks in her earlier years were normally accompanied by Lexa, always making sure she got home safely.

She thought back to what Anya had said, and Clarke knew she was right. Years of friendship. Years of falling in love without even realizing it. A whirlwind summer of a romance. And then nothing. Clarke disappeared on the first person she truly loved. And as hard as it was for her, she couldn’t imagine how hard it could have been for Lexa, the innocent bystander who had to abide by Clarke's decision. When she first pulled away, the feeling of regret loomed over her head like a storm cloud. As the years went on, it slowly subsided. Out of sight, out of mind. She moved on, and knew Lexa would too. But now, especially after her conversation with Anya, she knew that she should have just picked up the phone or taken a drive to the beach. She should have had the difficult conversation. She realized now that Lexa deserved at least that.

Clarke was worried that Lexa’s earlier silence was an indication of how the evening was going to be. She was worried that every ounce of connection had vanished when she did. Not sure what to expect from Lexa, especially after Anya shared what Lexa had felt, her nerves started to truly kick in. For the duration of their friendship, their relationship, Lexa was never someone that she tried to impress. Clarke was used to being herself around her, that’s just how they were. But now, she was frantically trying to decide what to wear, how to do her hair, and what kind of makeup she wanted to throw on her face—all things that would have never crossed her mind in summers’ past.

Her shower was quick. She rid her sun-kissed skin of the bits of sand that had traveled back to the house with her and washed away the familiar scent of the ocean breeze. She rummaged through her unpacked bags, wondering why she packed all the things she did. The decision to drive down was done in a bit of haste. But now, sifting through her belongings, she didn’t understand why she had packed so many lavish luxuries. There was no need for expensive cocktail dresses, no need for designer blouses and skirts. She was at the beach. She was at the beach and was there to fix the house and potentially salvage her relationships with people in town that she willingly walked away from. She knew that she needed to dress the part. She gave up with the findings in that one bag and went to her larger luggage. Clothes were flung across the room and landed on the bed and the floor. She reached a little deeper and finally found something useful. She put on the simple blue sundress, left her hair down with soft beach waves, and touched up a light face of makeup.

She decided to leave her bulky purse and designer wallet behind as she stuck her license and credit card in her dress’ pocket. She picked up her phone, and decided it was time to start her walk back to town.

8:15. The perfect amount of time for her to pick up a six-pack before strolling into the shack.

\---

“You can head out for the night, Echo. I don’t mind closing up,” Lexa offered, hopeful that she would take her up on it. She looked at her phone for the time and knew Clarke was set to arrive any minute.

“You haven’t put anything away yet and we haven’t had an order in thirty minutes,” Echo ignored her friend as she made her observation. “Are you planning on making something still?”

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded, she hadn’t mentioned her run in with Clarke earlier. Echo was good friends with her as well when they were younger, as well, but Lexa couldn’t bring herself to explain it. She was thankful the shack was busy when she got back, thankful that she didn’t have to talk about it, “Just dinner.”

“Okay,” Echo was apprehensive. It wasn’t like Lexa to be vague, especially while they were working, but she decided not to prod. Lexa was normally chatty after a good afternoon’s rest on the beach, but she was pretty quiet after today’s break. She came back with a different glow about her, but Echo couldn’t pinpoint what it was. “If you’re sure.”

“Absolutely,” Lexa offered a genuine smile.

Lexa made her way behind the counter, her back was towards Echo and the small dining room, and started to prepare something.

“Oh,” Echo let out as she neared the front door. The surprise in her voice was matched by the look on her face and everything suddenly made sense, “Holy shit, that explains a lot. I see why you’re trying to rush me out of here.”

Lexa immediately turned around and watched as Clarke approached with a brown paper bag under her arm and a huge smile fixed onto her face at the sight of Echo.

“Clarke Griffin?” Echo nearly gasped as the door swung open. “Holy shit, it’s been years,” she immediately wrapped her arms around Clarke in a tight embrace. When she finally let go, she took a good look at her. “Holy shit, you look fucking amazing.” She turned back towards the brunette. “Lexa! You didn’t tell me Clarke was in town.”

“I just got in today,” Clarke answered, sparing Lexa. “I ambushed her and Anya at the beach earlier.” She slowly looked around as she took in the familiarity of the joint. She was suddenly acutely aware that Lexa was behind the counter on the grill. She set the brown bag at a table nearby. “We’re just finishing our little catch up.”

“How long are you sticking around for?” Echo raised a tentative brow.

“The whole summer,” Clarke grinned. “Where’s the big guy? Anya mentioned he wasn’t around much anymore, but if he’s here I was hoping I could coax him into making me a lobster roll.”

“Gus?” Echo questioned.

“Who else?” Clarke questioned back.

Lexa turned back to face the food she was preparing, she knew Echo would answer the question.

“Clarke,” Echo rested her hand on the blonde’s shoulder. “He retired down to Florida. Lexa bought the place from him four years ago.” She took a pause, “She’s been running it ever since he left.”

“With help from you,” Lexa called over her shoulder as she finished making the plates of lobster rolls.

Astonished, proud, and confused, Clarke looked across the room to Lexa, “Why didn’t Anya tell me?”

“She probably figured I’d just fill you in tonight,” she shrugged as she carried the trays over to the table Clarke had set the bag on.

“Looks like you both have some catching up to do,” Echo offered with a questioning look. “Clarke, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around. Enjoy your night, you guys.”

“I’ll probably pop in a bunch. So if you’re around, you’ll definitely be seeing me,” Clarke smiled.

Echo nodded and gave a final wave to the pair before giving them the privacy she knew they were both seeking.

“Haven’t even tried the food and you’re already planning on coming back?” Lexa raised a brow as Clarke took a seat across from her.

Clarke shrugged, “It’s always been my favorite place in town. You know that.” She gave Lexa a knowing look. She smiled as she finally looked down at the tray in front of her seat. A warm lobster roll with an extra side of butter and lemon wedges, just the way she liked it. “And if your lobster rolls look like this, you bet I’ll be coming back.”

“Well,” Lexa offered after swallowing a bite of hers. Clarke’s presence earlier nearly knocked the wind out of her. But despite the feelings she was reminded of, being back in such close proximity with Clarke provided a sense of calm and familiarity. A devious smirk suddenly appeared on her face, “If memory serves me correct, you refused to eat these without an extra gallon or so of butter, and I wanted to make sure you were properly fed.”

Thankful that Lexa’s playful side was making an appearance, Clarke’s nerves eased up. “You even remembered my order,” Clarke jokingly batted her lashes, before finally taking a huge bite. It took her a second, maybe even two or three, to chew what was in her mouth before she finally let out, “Holy shit, Lex. This is is fucking delicious.”

“Must be all that butter. You would have drank it with a straw back then if Gus would have given you one,” Lexa shrugged, taking another bite herself.

Clarke took another as she relaxed into the conversation, “There’s crack in this, isn’t there?”

“Sure,” Lexa shrugged again, hoping her nonchalant demeanor covered the blush that was creeping up her neck. “Whatever you say.”

“There’s something in the butter,” Clarke pointed out.

“There is, but I’ll be damned if I give away my secrets,” Lexa grinned. “Echo is sworn to secrecy, so don’t go barking up that tree either.”

“I’ll get it out of you by the end of the summer,” Clarke shrugged, before reaching into the bag to grab a beer for each of them. She slid one towards Lexa before she cracked open her own.

Lexa reached for the can and did the same, “You sound so sure of that.”

“I am.”

For the forty minutes that it took Lexa to clean the kitchen and close down, Clarke persisted by instilling some sort of guessing game to find out what was melted into the buttery goodness, but her relentlessness had no avail.

“Even after two beers, you still won’t tell me?” Clarke threw her hands in the air, before handing Lexa her third.

Lexa smiled as she shook her head, “Loose lips sink ships.”

Clarke sat back in her seat and opened her own beer, the slight flush in her face showing that she was starting to feel the effects of the ale, “You used to tell me everything...”

Lexa cocked her head to the side at her words. It was true, she used to tell Clarke everything, and Clarke would do the same in return. But that was a whole other lifetime ago.

Similar to Clarke, Lexa was realizing that the previous two drinks were starting to creep up on her, “All I’m saying is that I don’t give my secrets away that easily.”

Clarke nodded, “Not even to a former best friend?”

Lexa grinned, “Not even to a former best friend.”

“What are you up to for the rest of the night?” Clarke asked while drumming her fingers on the wooden tabletop. She realized that she didn’t want the night to be over in the slightest, “Anywhere you need to be?”

“Nope, all of my nightly duties are now finished,” Lexa shrugged. There was no doubt she was actually enjoying the time, enjoying being in Clarke’s presence again. She wasn’t sure if she wanted the night to end yet, but knew that if they continued on, they would be having a very inevitable conversation, “Want to walk down to the beach for a nightcap?”

Clarke’s heart fluttered at the thought. She had spent a little time out there with Lexa and Anya earlier, but her mind couldn’t help but wander to that last summer when they were seventeen. She knew Lexa would likely want to walk down to her favorite spot—their favorite spot—and the thought of being back in that same place, just the two of them, brought feelings back that she didn’t know were still buried.

Clarke nodded, “I’d love to. Our spot?”

Lexa smiled at the thought of it still being theirs, “Yeah, our spot.”

\---

_**11 Summers Ago, 17-Years Old** _  
_This summer. This summer was different. It was an evolution. It was an eruption. It was the inevitable outcome of a bond formed over the last eight years. It was the best summer they could have imagined having, but time wasn’t on their side. Time had evaporated. And just like that, another summer had come and gone._

_“Let’s go to our spot?” Lexa asked. A hopeful look crossed her face as she shoved her hands in the pockets of her damp board shorts. She looked around and saw Anya and Lincoln hoisting someone on top of a keg. The coast was clear for them to run off for a little bit without the fear of being endlessly teased._

_Clarke grabbed her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, “Yeah.” She nodded, “Let’s go.”_

_The day had dulled as it turned to night. As each minute passed, they knew they were closer to Clarke’s departure the next morning. They were dreading it far worse than any summer that had come before, but that was to be expected. Being separated was a daunting undertaking, and though they had plans to see each other throughout the year, it would never be as good as they had it for the previous three months._

_They were silent on the walk. They wanted to save their words for when they reached their destination, for when Clarke could settle on top of Lexa’s lap and have her arms wrapped around her._

_Once they got there, Lexa laid a small blanket down for Clarke to sit on, something she had become accustomed to doing, “I don’t want tomorrow to come.”_

_“Unless you’ve figured out how to stop time, I don’t think there’s anything we can really do about that, Lex,” Clarke sighed. She tugged Lexa down next to her, pulled her arms around her own waist, “But I don’t want it to come either.”_

_“What are we going to do?” Lexa whispered. As the day went on, her sadness became more and more apparent. “Thanksgiving feels too far away.”_

_“I know,” Clarke nodded. The feeling was incredibly mutual. She had spent her earlier summers making a new best friend and the later ones falling in love with her. It wasn’t until this June that she had finally come clean about her feelings and had finally acted on it. And this summer. This summer was special. This summer was full of kisses, of holding hands, of being tangled in bed after finally being able to explore every inch of one another. And this summer. This summer was ending, and Clarke was going home. “I wish I could stay. Or I wish you could come with me. I hate this.”_

_“You really think your parents will let you drive down in November?” Lexa asked. She saw the sadness in Clarke’s eyes and saw how they mirrored her own. She knew she was sulking all night, but realized she wanted to try and be hopeful. If not for herself, for Clarke._

_Clarke nodded, “Yeah, I already asked my dad. He said it would be fine.”_

_“Do they know?” Lexa asked._

_Clarke wiggled her brows, “That we’ve been doing the dirty all summer long?”_

_Lexa immediately swatted her arm, “Try again.”_

_“That I’m going to drive four hours alone for a booty call?” Clarke quipped._

_Lexa rolled her eyes, “Clarke.”_

_“Yes, they know that the purpose of my visit in November will be to see and spend time with you. And yes, they know that you will be spending the week after Christmas with us,” Clarke laughed. “God,” she sighed. “I’m going to miss how serious you can be sometimes.”_

_“I’m going to miss a lot about you,” Lexa offered._

_Clarke raised a brow, “Like?”_

_“I’ll show you later,” Lexa smirked as she nuzzled her face into Clarke’s neck. Kisses were peppered up towards her jawline, onto her mouth. And as sad as she was that another summer had come to its end, she was glad that this particular summer had even happened at all._

***

The walk was short and the Maryland night breeze provided a sense of calm. Lexa had thrown a couple of local craft beers and a small blanket into a bag to extend the night how they saw fit.

“It’s so beautiful out tonight,” Clarke let out in a whisper, looking up at the clear sky as they slowed their pace on the uneven sand.

Lexa nodded. “Always is this time of year. You’ve never been here this early in the season, though. Something’s more peaceful about it in May.”

“No shoobies,” Clarke grinned, as she held her sandals proudly in the air.

“Say’s the shoobie princess,” Lexa laughed, instinctively laying the small blanket down so that Clarke wouldn’t have to deal with the sand finding its way up her dress.

“So you bought Gus out, huh?” Clarke asked as she took a seat, spreading the blanket out so Lexa could also comfortably take place.

She smiled at the gesture, “He was retiring and wanting to sell for a while. I had been working for him for a few years, while still working a few other jobs. After my parents passed,” Lexa took a pause, realizing Clarke had no idea of what she had gone through, “after they passed, he started to look out for me more, I guess.”

“Wait, Lexa,” a look of worry quickly replaced the smile on Clarke’s face, “I had no idea, I’m so sorry.” She grabbed her arm, and her mind went back to her earlier conversation with Anya—now realizing what was meant when she said someone needed to look out for her. “I’m so sorry, Lex.”

“Car accident,” Lexa let out a somber exhale. She knew the night had a difficult conversation in store for it, she just didn’t realize retelling this story would be a part of that. “A truck driver lost control in a rainstorm in the spring. His breaks were fucked and he flew through a red light. He didn’t make it either.”

“Lexa,” Clarke started again, grappling with how to process the conversation. She knew she had to tell Lexa about her own loss, but she had no idea that Lexa had gone through something so similar. “I am so sorry.”

“It was six years ago last month,” Lexa shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “They tell you it gets easier, but I don’t know. Anya, Linc, and Echo are all still here though, so that’s been good. Gus still checks in almost every day, though it’s probably because he’s scared I’ve burnt his place down.”

“Your place,” Clarke corrected her, removing her hand from her arm and replacing it into Lexa’s palm.

Lexa smiled at the gesture, “We all know it’ll always be his. I’m just taking care of it. And apparently paying all the bills for it.”

“Sounds like it’s yours,” Clarke squeezed her hand. “Bills and all.”

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded. “Guess you’re right. You know my parents didn’t have much, but they left me some money after they died. I had some in savings, too. Gus wouldn’t let me give him everything at once, though. He basically put me on a payment plan so I wouldn’t be left high and dry, but I squared that away a few months ago. Kind of feels like a fresh start now.”

“I’m proud of you,” Clarke unclasped their hands, raising hers to the side of Lexa’s face—a sign of friendship, if nothing more. “You’ve worked hard for this, Lex. It’s what you’ve always wanted.”

“Thanks,” Lexa reached up, placing her hand on Clarke’s—though she was unsure of what it all meant, she knew that she had missed this feeling. “I guess it is, huh? Didn’t really happen the way I would have liked it to, but I guess I did it.”

“They’d be so proud of you, too,” Clarke added, moving their hands back onto the blanket, still clasped within one another. “They knew you’d always make it.”

“Yeah, I’d like to think so, too,” Lexa stared off to the sound of crashing waves. “Well, anyway,” she let out a deep exhale. “That’s my story in a nutshell.”

“That can’t be all—that’s just the last six years,” Clarke nudged her shoulder. She wanted to hear more about Lexa’s past. “What about before that?”

Lexa shook her head and chuckled, “Before that? God. I don’t even know.” She tried to think of life before the shack, life before her parents were suddenly gone, “Before that was forever ago. We were up to the same shit. Working at Nykko’s surf shop, washing dishes at random places, babysitting shoobie kids while their parents went out and partied all night. Finished school and got my associate’s at County. Not much to tell.”

Clarke nodded as she reached into the bag to retrieve the beer they brought—realizing she needed a bit of liquid courage to ask what had been lingering on her mind since she walked into the shack earlier. She took a sip and let it slip out of her mouth, “And you and Echo?”

“Me and Echo?” Lexa asked, unsure of what to make of the question.

Clarke took an uncomfortable breath, “Are you together?”

“We work together,” Lexa stated. “And she’s one of my better friends. It’s not like that—but would it matter if it was?”

“I just–” Clarke suddenly felt like she had crossed a line, suddenly afraid she had ruined the night. “Nevermind, that was stupid.”

Lexa took Clarke’s lead by reaching into the bag for a drink of her own. She took a moment to open the can and finally have a sip, she wanted to buy enough time to figure out what she wanted to say next. Confusion flooded her mind because of Clarke’s quick interest in her dating life—but she didn’t want to hold on to the thought of what possibilities that could bring up.

“Tell me about you, now,” Lexa took another sip as she veered the conversation back on track. “Did you grace NYU with your presence? What has our shoobie princess been up to for the last eleven years?”

“Ha,” Clarke let out a sarcastic laugh. “The shoobie princess did go to NYU.” She took another sip before adding, “And hated it. I transferred to a state school after a year. Changed majors and derailed the vision of my future that I was holding onto so dearly.”

Lexa raised a brow. In their younger years, Clarke had always been so adamant about finishing from the former university, wanting to major in engineering, just like her dad, “Do tell.”

“I fell in love with a creative writing class,” Clarke shrugged. “The science and physics behind engineering wasn’t for me, but writing opened my eyes. Switched schools, switched majors, fought with mom a lot about it—apparently writers don’t make much money.”

“Was she right?” Lexa wondered.

“Yeah,” Clarke grinned. “Totally right. I still write, for me, and I’m definitely still passionate about it, but apparently there’s more money in selling your soul to the corporate devil. I’m working at a publishing house. I’m on the marketing side of things. I get to work with editors and writers once a book gets picked up by our company and help merchandise it to be ready for release dates. Not at all what I thought I’d be doing,” she admitted. “But I love it.”

“As long as you’re happy,” Lexa raised her beer to cheers Clarke.

Clarke nodded, “Happy enough, at least.”

“So, are you going to tell me what brought you here for the summer?” Lexa finally asked. “Or am I going to have to drag it out of you?”

“Anya didn’t tell you?” Clarke asked. She assumed Anya had shared some of what was said in their conversation earlier in the day.

Lexa shook her head, “Haven’t spoken to her since the beach. And she knew that we were going to see each other tonight. She’s not the type to give spoilers.”

“Yeah,” Clarke nodded. She recalled what Anya shared in the afternoon—how she had looked out for Lexa, and how she didn’t hold back with what her teenage radio silence did. She wasn’t sure how to process any feeling that may or may not still be there, but was suddenly scared to tell Lexa she was going to disappear just as quickly as she re-appeared. “I’m taking the summer to fix up Nana’s house so I can sell it.”

“Wow,” Lexa turned her attention back to the sound of waves crashing in the distance. It was dark out, but she wanted to make sure Clarke wouldn’t be able to see the look on her face. “I don’t blame you. You guys haven’t been down here since she passed away.”

“You and Anya had two very different reactions to that.” If it was anyone else, Clarke would be more surprised by the calm demeanor, but that was just how Lexa was—cool, calm, and collected.

“Have the summer rentals not been making it worth it? Or has it just been difficult for your dad to manage all the shoobie renter bullshit from home?”

Clarke closed her eyes and sighed, “Dad passed away last fall.”

“Clarke,” Lexa immediately reached back for her hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“Cancer,” Clarke nodded. She tried to continue, but tears were quickly forming in the corner of her eyes. “It was aggressive. Everything happened so fast. Mom and I are still trying to figure out how to deal with it all. He put Nana’s house in my name, so I guess I came down here to do this project and clear my mind.”

“I’m so sorry.” Lexa gave her hand a squeeze as she shook her head, “Why the hell didn’t Anya tell me that?”

“I didn’t tell her that part,” Clarke exhaled. “I wanted to tell you first.”

“Okay,” Lexa nodded. “Can I do anything to help out while you’re down here?”

Clarke let out a sad sigh, “Probably. To be honest, I decided to do all of this on a whim. I’m working remotely from down here, cut my hours back a little so I could do what I need to. I just got in today and couldn’t even bring myself to start going through the house to make a list. I just wanted to find you.”

“A sense of familiarity helps,” Lexa blinked at the admission. “I get that.”

Clarke wiped a stray tear that had managed to fall. “God, it feels weird to be back after all this time.” She wanted to change the subject before she got lost in her feelings about her dad.

“Does it feel right, though?” Lexa wondered out loud.

“Yeah,” Clarke finally let out the smallest of smiles. “Yeah, it does.”

The two sat in silence, drinking the rest of their beers and listening to the waves as they crashed into the shoreline. Being in each other’s presence brought them both a comfort neither realized they had needed, the company provided a soothing effect that they hadn’t felt in over a decade.

“Remember the last time we sat here, just us?” Clarke finally spoke up again. Her conversation with Anya from earlier still lingered on her mind, and if she was going to spend the summer here—spend more time with Lexa, she wanted to make sure the two would be able to move past what happened that last summer.

“I do,” Lexa nodded.

“I’m sorry I disappeared after Nana passed,” Clarke apologized. “Realizing she was gone was a lot. She was the first person that I loved that I lost. I don’t think I knew how to process it all.” She sighed before she continued, “You and I made this promise to each other that night, and I couldn’t even bring myself to return your calls and texts.”

Lexa nodded—she had gone eleven years without hearing from Clarke, let alone an apology for how things abruptly ended between them. “We were so young and you were going through something. I don’t blame you, Clarke. We were young and you dealt with it the way you had to.”

“Maybe we were, but we really loved each other,” Clarke gave her a sad smile. “And I’m sorry that I never mustered the courage to have that conversation with you.”

“I felt a little lost at first,” Lexa confessed. “Anya and I were mourning, too. I know she wasn’t our grandma the way she was yours, but she was still our Nana G. It made it even harder when I realized you didn’t want to hear from us.”

“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to—that wasn’t the case at all,” Clarke started. She looked up at Lexa, and the sadness in her eyes mirrored her own, “I had my own way of dealing with her being gone. I just ran. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

“At the very least,” Lexa started. “I’m glad we’re talking about it now.”

“Me too,” Clarke nodded, thankful that Lexa— _her Lexa_ —was still as kind and understanding as she had always been. “To be honest, after talking to Anya earlier, I did not think this conversation was going to go well.”

“Anya is still Anya, Clarke,” Lexa rolled her eyes. “Don’t listen to her. She gets weirdly protective.”

“It’s nice she looks out for you, though,” Clarke offered. “But she was right with everything she said to me. And I just want to right my wrongs, so I needed to apologize. And I wanted to work on getting my best friend back.”

“Well,” Lexa squeezed her hand one last time before letting it go. “We have all summer long for that.”

At the loss of contact, Clarke’s mind started to swirl with emotions—her dad was gone, and so were Lexa’s parents. She was sitting side-by-side with the first person she truly loved, right where they made promises and declarations of grandeur to each other, almost eleven years ago. She looked at Lexa with a pleading eye, not even sure of what she was searching for—but Lexa knew. She just knew. She wrapped her arms around Clarke, giving her the hug she had been craving since the afternoon. Clarke relaxed into the embrace and leaned her head onto Lexa’s shoulder. It wasn’t until that moment when she realized that things could actually end up being okay.


	2. You're So Good To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rekindling.

The weeks had come and gone, and the new surrounding had finally begun to feel normal again. Mornings were filled with getting her day job done and doing odd bits around the house. Evenings with making up for lost time with old friends. Nights, with relief that her old friends let her back so seamlessly into their lives.

The sound of the alarm clock woke Clarke from her deep slumber. Dreams were suddenly replaced with a repetitive shrill beeping. Instead of hitting the snooze button, a common practice, she decided to get out of bed at a snail-like pace. She knew she had a few hours before Lincoln was set to arrive with the tiles for the downstairs bathroom, and she wanted to use them to her advantage.

Downstairs in the kitchen, she grabbed a glass of her home-made cold brew. Although nowhere near as satisfying as her usual order from her favorite cafe in downtown Manhattan, she knew it would get the job done. When she got back up to her old bedroom, she sat at her desk and started to go through emails. There was no doubt she was thankful for the decreased workload and her boss’ understanding of her needing to leave town, but she wanted to make sure she stayed on top of everything she needed to. To keep in everyone’s good graces.

The open window let in a cool breeze, the smell of the sea swept through the room. That and coffee was all she needed to get going. Two hours passed, but it felt like five minutes, and her coffee was long gone. Her file had accumulated over two-thousand words, and with a quick and satisfied read over the screen, she sent the email and closed the laptop to get ready for the day ahead.

With her second coffee underway, she took a seat on the front porch. The white paint was chipping on her favorite swing. If anything, the distressed furniture made her feel even more at home. It was different from her modern New York apartment, and it was something she realized she could get used to. She looked down at the time and knew Lincoln’s truck would appear any minute. Just like during their younger years, in his adult life, the man was as punctual as ever.

\---

“Ah, right where I left you,” Lincoln smiled as he hopped out of his truck. He nodded to Clarke as she sat perched on the swinging bench. The amount of boxes in the bed of his truck showed that there was a long day of work ahead. “You eat?” He asked as he dangled a small paper bag in the air. “Picked up some cinnamon rolls.”

She laughed at the gesture, “Shouldn’t I be the one feeding you?”

“Nah,” he smiled. “You’re already paying me, remember?”

After Lincoln quickly chomped away at the food in his hand, they immediately got to work.

Throughout the day, the pair realized that they made more headway with the housework and renovations when it was just the two of them. In recent weeks, they realized that when Lexa and Anya added to the mix the pair had proved to be a distraction, and would mostly end up with disastrous results. They quickly learned the hard way that Lexa should never be trusted with a drill, and Anya should never be trusted with a staple gun. Both were well-intentioned in their offers, but Lincoln found it much simpler to teach one person how to do the job the right way. Needless to say, Lincoln was thankful that the day’s work was being done with just Clarke by his side.

The day had breezed by. It was just after lunch, and they were well-ahead of their schedule.

“At the rate we’re going,” Lincoln pressed the last bathroom tile down. “We’re going to be done in no time.”

“Let’s slow down a bit, then,” Clarke shrugged. “I’m not in much of a rush for all of this to be over. I forgot how much I loved being down here.”

He smiled, and he couldn’t blame her. It was nice for him to spend time with Clarke again after all these years—to get to know the person she had grown to become. He also knew that Lexa and Anya were enjoying the time spent together as well. “Well, I’m not just speaking for myself when I say we love you being down here, too.”

“It’s been a good summer so far,” Clarke nodded as she started to clean up the mess they had made. After the first bathroom they had to retile, Clarke learned her lesson that caulk was a very messy thing. Her favorite pair of jeans were a testament. Now, on their third go, she knew better than to wear nothing other than sweats and old t-shirts.

“It has,” he offered a hand to break down some of the empty cardboard boxes.

She immediately brushed him away. “Don’t worry about that, Linc. I can clean up, I don’t want to keep you.”

“Alright, alright,” he nodded. “As you say.” He started to pack his tools into his bag, “Anything fun planned for the rest of the day?”

“Work,” she shrugged. “Have a few deadlines this week, so I guess it’s a good thing we finished a little early.”

“Sounds boring,” he smirked. “But I can leave you to it. We don’t have another time set up until those plants for the yard come in, right? It’ll be about a week or a little longer.”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Like I said, I’m not in much of a rush.”

“Glad to see it,” he waved as he walked out.

After tidying up a bit more, and a quick shower to get the caulk and plaster out of her hair, Clarke went back up to her desk. She read through her emails again, hoping for a resolution to her morning’s work. She scrolled, and scrolled, and scrolled, and nothing. She was sure she would have received a response by now. She knew patience was part of the job, but it wasn’t until now that she realized how much of it she had to have.

\---

The last few weeks—especially the last few days—had been kind to Clarke and her renewed companionship with her old friends. She made it a point to frequent the shack, and on the days she did so unannounced, she couldn’t help but hope to find Lexa there.

Walking into the restaurant was one of Clarke’s favorite things for the sole purpose of the aroma of the fresh food. She took a look around and saw that all the tables were filled. Strangers were sitting with one another just to grab a seat. A smile took over her face when she looked over the counter to see Lexa talking to two younger teens. There was a grin on her face and the air around her seemed light. Lexa was in her element and Clarke couldn’t be happier to see it. Lexa nodded at the two kids to wait further down the line for their food to be ready, and then, on noticing Clarke, flashed an even bigger grin right in her direction.

“Well, if it isn’t this summer’s best customer,” Lexa joked as Clarke finally made her way towards the counter. “I’d ask you what you wanted, but–”

“Actually,” Clarke interrupted, contemplating a change. “I think I’m going to venture today.”

Lexa raised a brow. Every day since Clarke’s been in, she’d always ordered the same thing, “Oh?”

“Everyone’s talking about your crab cake sandwich, and when in Maryland...” Clarke trailed off.

Lexa let out a laugh, “Your wish is my command.”

“Well,” Clarke added with a disappointed smile. “I was also going to see if you could join me, but it looks a little busy in here.”

“Noon on a Saturday in the middle of June in the heart of a vacation beach town,” Lexa pointed out. “That’ll do it.”

Clarke took out her wallet and set cash on the counter, “It’s so easy to lose track of the days down here.”

“Beach time,” Lexa shrugged. “But how about dinner later?”

The suggestion brought an immediate smile to Clarke’s face, “I’d love that.” She had been spending more time with Lexa in recent days, and the more time they spent together, the more Clarke realized she didn’t want the summer to end. She wasn’t sure if it was a weird mixture of new feelings and old, but in the very least, she knew she was far from ready for the season to be over. “Want to come by the house whenever you’re done?”

“Works for me,” Lexa smiled back. “I’ll tell Anya.”

“Yeah, great,” Clarke nodded. It wasn’t until that moment that she felt a pang of guilt. She hadn’t even thought about Anya. The only person on her mind was the person standing right in front of her. “You guys come over whenever and we can eat and hang out. I’ll grab some beer on my way back.”

\---

_**14 Summers Ago, 14-Years Old** _  
_Clarke looked around the room. The clutter that had accumulated throughout the course of this summer was unmatched to any of the previous ones. There was no way she was fitting everything into the duffel bag that she had arrived with at the end of May._

_Nana G had come up to bring the three girls some iced tea, “Clarke, honey. Why don’t you leave some of your summer things here. You won’t need that all back home, anyway.”_

_“Lex, wanna hold on to my boogie board?” Clarke handed it across the bed. “I know the design is lame, but it rides really good,” she added, eyeing the red, white, and blue stars and stripes._

_Lexa shrugged and took it, “Okay, sure. I’ll keep it in the beach locker.”_

_“Honey,” Nana G handed Clarke a glass of the iced tea. “I don’t think your parents would like you having the skateboard up there, especially if none of your other friends have one.”_

_Clarke shook her head in disagreement, “Nana, I can’t leave that here. It’s how I get everywhere.”_

_“Down here, it is,” Nana G corrected her. “I don’t think it’s as safe at home. It’ll be waiting for you when you come back.”_

_Clarke sighed, “Lex, maybe Anya can have the boogie board and you can use my longboard instead?”_

_“Hey,” Anya called out. “Why does Lexa get the longboard?”_

_Clarke scrunched her nose, “‘Cause you just got a new one, Ahn.”_

_“Alright, girls,” Nana G spoke up. “Why don’t you hurry this along? Clarke’s parents should be here any minute, and dinner’s almost ready.”_

_“I wish we could just have your cherry cobbler for dinner,” Lexa smiled. “I mean, I love your other food, but the cobbler is the best.”_

_Nana G let out a laugh. Summer was always a blessing. It wasn’t just because she got to spend time with her granddaughter, it was also because of the two added best friends that came along the way. She kept busy throughout the rest of the year, had her own social circle that she spent a lot of time with. She even had the Woods and Foresters over for dinner often. But being around the energy of Clarke, Lexa, and Anya all together—it was the happiest she could possibly be._

_As Clarke stuffed the last items into her duffel bag, the doorbell rang. Another summer had come and gone._

***

Clarke and Anya sat around the table in hysterics—Anya’s impersonation of Nana G’s next door neighbor was accurately on point. The stories of their childhood together were filled with ice cream cones and boardwalk stuffed animals. The story of their teenage years was a whole other ballgame. Anya recounted the time the three got caught sneaking back into the house after the first time they got drunk. It was honestly a sight to be seen. The three teenagers, all with sand stuck to their faces, trying to pick a lock that wasn’t even locked.

“Oh my God,” Clarke laughed into her beer. “How did I forget about that?”

“I don’t know, Griff,” Anya started, trying to hold back her own laughter, “But the look on your face was fucking priceless. You literally thought we were headed for juvie.”

“And the seagrass in Lexa’s hair,” Clarke nearly spit her drink at the image. A teenaged Lexa with a wild mane of humidity-induced hair and reeds of seagrass woven throughout. “God, we were so dumb.”

“Hurry up, Lex,” Anya called through the door to the kitchen. “We’re making fun of you and you’re not even in here to defend yourself.”

“There’s nothing to defend about what my hair looked like back then,” Lexa shouted back. The image alone was enough to make her cringe. “I’m almost done. Just popping dessert in the oven.”

“We just crushed a whole pizza,” Clarke leaned over to Anya with her hand on her stomach from how full she was. “I can’t eat anything else.”

“Aw, c’mon, Griff,” Anya relaxed back into her seat as she rested her hands behind her head. “She’ll come waltzing in here with whatever the hell she made and you’ll end up swooning to eat it.”

Clarke bit at her bottom lip, realizing the words were more or less true. And Anya gave her a knowing look, right back.

Thirty minutes later and it turned out Anya was right. She was so right. But for an entirely different reason.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Anya raised another bite to her mouth. It tasted exactly the way she remembered. “How’d you pull this one off?”

“Lexa,” Clarke set her fork down. The flavors brought her back in time. Back in the same room, with the same two people, but with her Nana serving them all second helpings. “What the hell.”

Lexa smiled. She knew they would both be more than thrilled about the cherry cobbler. Hell, she was too.

Growing up, it’s what all three girls would beg Nana G to have for dessert, “Nana G gave my mom the recipe one summer. Mom tried to make it once but it didn’t come out the same and I refused to eat it, so she kind of tucked it away in the back of her recipe cards.” She took another bite, reminiscing of evenings spent with Clarke’s grandma at that same table. “I’ve always had it, but never brought myself to try it out. I’m kind of surprised it turned out so well.”

“Between this—and by the way, you’ll be making this for me at least once a week—and all the butter from your damn lobster rolls,” Clarke pointed her fork at Lexa, “and the midday beach naps,” she added, shooting a glance at Anya, “I’m going to be disgusting by the fall.”

“You couldn’t be disgusting if you tried,” Lexa said with a half smile.

Anya rolled her eyes. The compliment didn’t go unnoticed by anyone, and between Clarke’s dramatics and Lexa’s sincerity towards her, there was only so much more she could take, “You both need to get a grip.”

Lexa shot her a glare as she finished chewing a bite, “Always ruffling the feathers, Ahn.”

Anya laughed and put her hands up, “Oh, I don’t ruffle any feathers.” She leaned closer to Lexa and gave her a knowing look. “I just watch and observe as everyone else does.”

“Okay,” Clarke interrupted, not wanting the discussion to go any further. “Movie night?”

“As much as I’d love to hang with you both,” Anya said as she stood up and pushed her chair in. “Duty calls,” she pointed to her phone.

Lexa wrinkled her nose, “What? It’s already after nine. Where are you going?”

“Yeah,” Clarke chimed in. She didn’t want the night to end, and she wasn’t sure if Anya leaving would mean Lexa leaving too. “We had plans tonight.”

“First of all,” Anya started, as she made her way to the front door, “you guys had plans and Lexa gave me a pity invite. Thanks for that, Lex.” She moved to open the door, “Second of all, Lincoln wants me to wingman him tonight at Secrets, and that sounds like a whole lot more fun than watching ‘My Cousin Vinny’ with you both for the millionth time.” She flashed the two an insinuating smile and a wave before she finally walked out the door.

“We haven’t watched it together in eleven years,” Clarke screamed out as the door was shutting.

Lexa turned to Clarke in confusion. “How’d she even know that’s what we’d put on?”

“Because it’s obviously what we’re going to put on,” Clarke shrugged.

“Fair,” Lexa shrugged. “I mean, how could she even be mad about that?” She scrunched her face and tucked her head into her shoulders, readying for her best Joe Pesci imitation, “ _You just keep asking about Chinese food. You gotta let everybody know you're a tourist?_ ”

Clarke doubled over in laughter before sweeping her hair off her shoulder to get into character, channeling her inner-most Marisa Tomei, “ _Yeah, well what are you? A fuckin’ world traveller?_ ”

Lexa couldn’t help but laugh. She also couldn’t help but realize that as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t peel her eyes off of Clarke’s smile.

“Come on,” Clarke started to stand. “I’ll clean up in the morning. Let’s get the movie on. It’ll be like old times.” She reached her hand down to grab Lexa’s.

A tingle shot through Lexa as their hands met. It was familiar, but it also felt distinctly new. She suddenly realized why Anya decided to let them have the night for themselves.

\---

Clarke knew that the shack wouldn’t be packed. In recent weeks, she had made it a habit of stopping in for a late lunch and lingering a bit longer to get some of her work done. The free WiFi and sporadic company of Lexa made it all the better.

She sat amidst mockups of cover art for a new novel coming out. The prints were scattered across the table she sat at, pages showing different fonts and different backgrounds. Lexa suddenly appeared with a pitcher of soda and nodded to her nearly empty plastic cup, “Need a refill?”

“Please,” Clarke sighed. She took her eyes off the pages for a moment, allowing herself to look up and give Lexa an appreciative smile. “How much longer before the dinner crowd starts to flood in? I don’t want to take up a table for too long.”

“You’ve got some time,” Lexa sat down across from her after filling her cup. She let her eyes scan over all the prints on the table. “What are you working on today?”

Clarke let her eyes wander between Lexa’s inquisitive eyes and everything laid out on the table. Lexa’s genuine want of understanding of Clarke’s life had been prevalent in the forming of their evolved friendship. To be fair, the want of understanding went both ways, but whenever Lexa asked more questions and tried to dig a little deeper, it filled Clarke with a warmth that she didn’t know she needed. A warmth that she realized she had starting to yearn for whenever Lexa wasn’t around.

“Care to help?” Clarke started to organize the mockups in a stack. “I’m trying to help finalize the cover art for a new book that’s being published. We’re going back and forth with the design team about fonts and color schemes, and no one can agree on fucking anything.”

Lexa nodded, “Sure. How can I be of service?”

Clarke placed three prints in front of Lexa. They all had a simple white background with black font on the top half, and a black background with a white font on the bottom half. The only difference was the typeface of the title, Go Outside. She gave Lexa a few seconds to let her eyes wander on the three prints before she asked, “What do the three fonts make you feel?”

Lexa’s concentration remained on the pages, and the sight was nothing short of cute to Clarke. Lexa nodded to herself and pointed to the first, “This one makes it look like the book is a story about kids that are supposed to be playing outside or something.” She brought her attention to the second, “This one feels like it could be a romance novel.” And finally, the third, “This one feels like it’s supposed to be scary.”

“Okay,” Clarke nodded. She took the pages and replaced them with three others. The replacements were void of words, but looked to be the background cover art. “Now how do each of these backgrounds make you feel?”

Lexa picked up each page before she let her thoughts flow out. “The one with the foggy forest is definitely dark and ominous. The white one with watercolors splashed onto it gives me a kind of…” she stopped to think of the words. “Feel good vibe?” Her eyes moved to the last one, which seemed to be an endless field of lavender. “The last one is definitely for a romance novel.”

Clarke grinned as she let her eyes linger on Lexa for a little too long. Lexa was still eyeing the pages, and Clarke was thankful to not have been caught in her moment of adoration.

“Okay,” Clarke finally broke the silence. “So. If I told you the book was a thriller, what combination would you go with?”

Lexa looked up to Clarke and mocked, “Well, my extremely expert opinion on book publishing would tell me that the last font and the first image.”

Clarke smiled, “That’s what I was thinking, too. That’s what we’ll go with, then!”

“Yeah?” Lexa cocked her head to the side.

“Yeah,” Clarke nodded. “Great combo for what we’re going after. I’ll tell the team that’s my final recommendation. Thank you.”

“Well,” Lexa tapped both of her hands onto the tabletop. “Looks like my job here is done.”

Clarke smiled and opened her mouth to protest Lexa leaving the table to tend back to whatever else she had to do to prepare for the dinner crowd, but before she could say anything, they were interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Well look who it is,” Anya’s voice grew louder as she neared the table. When she finally sat, she added, “My two favorite saps.”

“Speak for yourself,” Lexa scoffed.

Clarke pursed her lips at Lexa’s expression. Before Anya arrived, Lexa looked relaxed and soft. Now that Anya was in their presence, Lexa’s demeanor instantly changed to something else, almost like she had been caught doing something, and Clarke couldn’t help but smile at the thought that Lexa was feeling something similar to what she was.

Clarke brought her attention from one friend to the other, “Perfect timing, Anya.”

Anya took the sunglasses off her face and set them on the table. Her eyes were now on Clarke’s, “Oh yeah? How so?”

“Well, now that you’re both here,” Clarke started. “I was going to see if you guys were free Saturday afternoon to help me paint some of the bedrooms upstairs.”

Lexa scratched her head. The task seemed easy enough. “Sure. I can swing by after the later lunch crowd leaves.” She turned to Anya, “And you mentioned that you were free all day anyway, right? So I guess you can go help before I get there.”

“You’re a bitch,” Anya sneered at Lexa. “But fine. Since she outed me. Yes, I’m technically free all day.”

“Great,” Clarke started to pack her work things into her bag. Anya was the first of a few people that had entered the Surfer Snack Shack, and she knew that Lexa would have to get back to work anyway—even though all she really wanted to do was stay, even if it just meant being in her presence. “I’ll probably start around noon, so you can drop by around then.”

“Sure, sure,” Anya waved Clarke off.

“Thanks for helping, Lex,” Clarke offered a smile.

Lexa’s expression matched the blonde’s, “Always.”

\---

“You missed a spot,” Anya called from her horizontal position on the bed. The piece of furniture was placed in the center of the room, draped with a blue plastic tarp, but she still managed to make herself comfortable. Her nose was in some binder, flipping through the pages, and it was obvious that she was just trying to make Clarke’s task a bit more difficult.

“Honestly, Anya. My patience is wearing thin after this shit week I’ve had,” Clarke rolled her eyes. It was true. She most definitely had a shit week. Unforeseen mold in the basement created bigger issues for her and Lincoln, a nasty client at work chewed her apart more than three times, and she had been battling the demons in her mind that were causing confusing feelings about her friendship-slash-relationship with Lexa. To top it off, most of the room had already transformed from coral pink to a sandy beige, and Clarke was single handedly responsible for it, even though Anya assured her she was coming over to assist. “Are you going to help me or what?”

“You’ve banned me from helping out with the house, Clarke,” Anya offered. “I’m just here for moral support to help you get through your day. My wit, charm, and looks are helping enough, though I’m sure you’d rather be looking at another witty and charming brunette.”

Clarke removed the paint roller from the wall and rolled her eyes at the reference, “Knock it off and stop changing the subject. Are you going to help me?”

“You told me I wasn’t allowed to,” Anya smirked as she recalled the moment.

“Yeah. I told you that you weren’t allowed to help with heavy duty things because you staple-gunned my pants to the wall, Anya. You’re more than capable to help me paint.”

Anya finally set down the binder, “Clarke, you’ve sworn me off any fixer-upper duties. And I do recall you using a few expletives as well.”

“Because you fucking staple-gunned my pants to the wall!” Clarke yelped.

Anya shook her head, “If you’re scared of me with a staple gun, you wouldn’t want to see the damage I could cause with a paint brush.”

“That makes no sense,” Clarke sighed as she finished the last corner of the wall she was working on. She set the paint roller down into the tray and looked at the finished room. “I’m unbanning you from helping me, we have one more to do today.”

“We?” Anya didn’t move from her spot.

Clarke made her way into the next room and was unsurprised when she didn’t hear Anya follow suit. What was once Nana G’s bedroom already had the furniture pushed to the middle with tarps covering everything, so she was more than ready to get a coat of primer on the walls. She realized there were still a few things hanging up, so she started to take them down. Once the last frame was set on the ground, she knew she could get down to work.

Clarke set the picture down and looked back up. Her eyes widened at the hole in the wall. She thought Anya not helping her was the cherry on top of her shit week, but that moment was definitely topped by this. “What the actual fuck!”

Anya heard Clarke’s frustrated groan and jumped to join her in Nana G’s bedroom. At the sight, she covered her mouth and let out a boastful laugh, all while Lexa conveniently appeared behind her in the doorway a beat later.

“How’s it going in–” She trailed off as soon as she heard Anya’s laugh, saw Clarke’s face, and the root of the cause, “here…?”

“Fucking renters,” Clarke stormed towards Lexa. “Seriously. Fucking look at this!” Her arms were flailing in the air, “They couldn’t have at least plastered it? Seriously? It’s not like my dad wouldn’t have given them any of their security deposit back.”

Anya’s laughter persisted, “Lex, why don’t you tell her a little about what happened here?”

Clarke turned around at the speed of the tasmanian devil. If she spun any faster, she would have tornadoed out of the room, “Did this happen last month when I told you that you weren’t allowed to help with the house anymore?”

Anya spoke up before Lexa had a chance, “Actually. That would be a good out, Lex.”

The daggers Lexa shot Anya were enough to kill. They were actually enough to kill, bring her back to life, and then kill her again. And the smirk on Anya’s face was enough for her to want to do it multiple times.

Confused, Clarke looked between the two, “Is someone going to tell me what’s going on?”

“Lighten up, Lex,” Anya finally moved behind Lexa and patted her tense friend on her back. “It’s a funny story.”

Lexa rolled her eyes and grumbled, “So then why don’t you tell it.”

Clarke stood waiting with her hands on her hips, “One of you just spit it out. It’s not like anything can top this week getting any fucking worse.”

Lexa sighed, “One summer some of the renters had a massive party here. Some other shoobie got drunk and tried to show off a karate kick and his foot went right through the wall.”

Clarke arched an inquisitive brow, “And you know this because?”

“Because who are we to turn down a party invite?” Anya shrugged. “It was harmless. Cos asked Lex what to do, and Lexa took the frame from another room and hung it up over the hole.”

“Cos?” Clarke questioned.

“Costia,” Lexa corrected. “She and her friends rented the house a few weeks out of the summer for a few years.”

“Okay,” Clarke was trying to piece all the bits of information together, while trying to calm herself down at the same time. “So instead of being a decent person and telling the shoobies to fix the wall, or offering to help them do it, you hung a frame to cover it.”

Lexa’s hands were up in the air, “You’ve seen how non-handy I am! We were in college. Seemed like a good idea back then.”

Clarke rubbed her temples and then straightened her back, “Were you hooking up with some shoobie that was renting my Nana’s house? In my Nana’s bedroom?”

“I mean,” Anya started. “If Costia was down here more than just a few weeks every summer, I think it would have probably been more than them just boning.”

“Ahn!” Lexa shook her head.

“Anyway,” Anya inched towards the door. “I think I’m gonna bounce.”

“You just threw me under the bus,” Lexa growled. “Don’t you dare.”

“Maybe you both should just go,” Clarke finally spoke up. She closed the bucket of primer, knowing she’d have to plaster the wall before she could do anything else. Her mind swirled with her pent up anger from the week, and the new frustrations of the day. But what bothered her the most was realizing she was jealous at the thought of Lexa with someone in her Nana’s home—her Nana’s bedroom—and knowing she had no grounds to be jealous at all. “I’m really behind now, and I still have actual work to catch up on. We can do dinner another time.”

Lexa shot Anya another look before she turned to Clarke, “Clarke–”

She immediately turned away from Lexa, “I’ll talk to you guys later.”

Lexa looked back and Clarke was already working on cleaning up the area, putting a pause on the small project. She sighed as she sauntered out of the room and out of the house.

The pair split to walk to each of their cars when Anya finally turned around. “Hey, I didn’t realize that was going to be a thing. I guess I should have realized, though. She mentioned that she had a pretty shitty week. Sorry.”

“Of course it would be,” Lexa was annoyed, mostly because Clarke had confided in her previously about the mold in the basement and atrocious behavior from her client, and didn’t want to be the cause of any more added stress. “We should have just asked Linc to patch that. I totally forgot about it until I walked in and saw it.”

“I mean, yeah. But I was apologizing about the Costia thing.”

“Right,” Lexa replied. “That too.”

“I didn’t realize she’d get so jealous,” Anya offered.

It piqued Lexa’s interest. She turned her head to look up to the bedroom window that they were just standing in, “You think she got jealous?”

“Oh, God,” Anya shut her eyes. “You’re both acting like we’re fucking sixteen again.”

***

_**12 Summers Ago, Age 16** _  
_“I swear to God, Lex” Clarke huffed as the two turned the corner to where Indra’s ice cream shop was. “I’m going to kill Anya.”_

_Lexa couldn’t help but laugh, “It was a joke, she didn’t know he would actually text you non-stop.”_

_Finn Collins, a returning shoobie, had been zeroed in on Clarke since the previous summer. Like Clarke, he came from a few hours up north. His family bought a property on the Chesapeake and started frequenting the beach scene for the last couple of years. He took a keen liking to Clarke after they met two summers ago during the end-of-season bonfire that the locals always threw. He spent the previous summer doing what most teenage boys did: trying to impress the girl, and subsequently not getting the girl._

_“He makes my skin crawl,” Clarke pouted. “I have to change my number now.”_

_Lexa just shook her head. She knew that from the get-go, he had his eyes set on Clarke. When it was first made apparent, Lexa immediately took a disliking to him. She chalked it up to the fact that he was oddly persistent, which would result in countless hours of complaining from Clarke. The more Lexa complained about the boy and the situation to Anya, the more she was met with knowing eyes and smirks._

_“Shut up and buy me an ice cream, Clarke,” Lexa rolled her eyes, as she opened the door to Indra’s creamery for her._

_“You hate him just as much as I do,” Clarke pointed out._

_“I do,” Lexa agreed._

_Clarke wiggled her brows jokingly, “Jealous?”_

_“In your wildest dreams,” Lexa rolled her eyes again._

_The previous summer was monumental for Lexa. Half a bottle of Anya’s parents’ stolen vodka was being passed around between her, Clarke, Anya, Lincoln on the beach—the usual suspects for their “nights out.” They were settled into a spot hidden by a lifeguard tower, knowing that trespassing after hours mixed with underage drinking wouldn’t be a good look for any of them. Two shots and two beers later, and what Lexa thought would be a wild confession finally slipped out. After she was met with responses of, “Yeah, we figured” and “Glad you finally caught up,” she realized that her coming out wasn’t as wild as she originally thought._

_“So why do you hate him so much?” Clarke prodded._

_Lexa sighed, “Because the more he annoys you, the more you complain, and the more I have to hear about it.”_

_“If Anya was around more, she’d hear it, too,” Clarke added._

_“Anya lucked out. Her summer job schedule works in her favor on this subject matter,” Lexa grunted._

_“Well,” Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand as they fell in line. “Your summer job schedule works in favor of mine, because I get to spend all this time with you.”_

_“You’re annoying,” Lexa released their hands—the fit was too good, the feeling it gave her felt right, and she realized all of those thoughts could go horribly wrong._

_Clarke shrugged, “You still love me.”_

_“Apparently so.”_

_“You’re so good to me.”_

***

Clarke fired off a text to Lincoln, asking if she had what she needed to patch the wall and send a link to a YouTube video to ask if the technique was fine. She set her phone down on her desk and swept her hair into another, just as messy, bun.

Her phone dinged, and Lincoln said not to worry about it. That he’d do it the next time he came around as long as that worked with her timelines, and she sent him a quick ‘thank you.’

As she waited for her computer to turn on and load, she couldn’t help but come to terms with it. She was most certainly thrown off by finding out that Lexa spent time in the house as an adult. That she was spending time fooling around with a random renter. That the random renter wasn’t a one time thing. That the place Clarke had always associated with her favorite memories was now associated with Lexa and a presumingly beautiful girl. Clarke took a deep breath as the realization hit her. She knew exactly why she was jealous.

The sound of her inbox loading snapped her from her thoughts. The email she had been waiting for had finally arrived.

_Good. Very good. Almost there._

_-MK_

She read the three, very short, sentences over again before she sighed and closed the laptop. His vagueness was the cherry on top of her not-so-ideal week.

\---

Two days without either of them seeing Clarke wasn’t unheard of, but two days without hearing from her was speaking volumes. Ever since she came back, the three had fallen into old habits. Talking on the regular was one of them, and Lexa and Clarke being borderline flirty was another.

“Heard from Griff yet?” Anya called out as she entered the shack.

Lexa was prepping to open. She put a tray of freshly formed crabcakes into the fridge before she walked over to greet her friend, “Nope. You?”

“Nope,” Anya sighed. “I think I’m going to extend an olive branch. You’ve been a mopey emo mess and I don’t want to have to keep enduring this.”

“That’s far from the truth,” Lexa rolled her eyes. “I’m not mopey, I’m not emo, and I’m not a mess.”

Anya shrugged, “I’m sure there’s a half-truth somewhere between what we’re both saying.” She sat her phone down and looked back up to Lexa. “I just told her we wanted to grab a drink later. You free?”

“My only plans are ever with you anyway,” Lexa huffed. “Of course I’m free.”

Anya’s phone chirped and she laughed as she read Clarke’s response out loud, “First one’s on you for stirring the pot. Second one’s on Lexa for not getting the hole in the wall patched. Third one’s on Lexa for doing the dirty in Nana’s house.”

Lexa faked a scoff, “Whatever, fine. What time are we going? Echo’s closing up tonight, anyway.”

“I know,” Anya quipped. “You act like I don’t know your every movement, Lex. I told her to meet us there at 8. Her and Linc are supposed to be done with the kitchen countertops around 7 and she said they’d come together.”

“Okay,” Lexa nodded.

***

_**11 Summers Ago, 17-Years Old** _  
_It had been two weeks since Clarke came down to Ocean City. Seventeen felt different for everyone in the group. They were embarking on their senior year and were at the age where they felt like they were truly adults, though they were actually far from it._

_The weeks had served everyone well so far. But for Lexa, she realized that something was brewing inside of her. She had misplaced feelings that she couldn’t exactly pinpoint. There was something different about how she saw Clarke, and Clarke was starting to act a little differently towards her. And for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out why._

_If she had bothered to step out of her head and just ask Anya about it, she’d actually have the answers she was looking for. It was clear to everyone around them. So impeccably crystal clear. Lexa and Clarke were falling for each other, and the two were the only ones who didn’t know it._

_Lexa ran her hand through her hair and swept it over her shoulder as she and Anya approached Nana G’s house to pick Clarke up, “How late do you think we’re going to be at this party?”_

_Anya answered with a shrug, “If it’s lame we can bounce and just come back here, but Echo’s parties are never lame.”_

_“True,” Lexa offered as they walked up to Nana G’s front porch. She brought her hand to knock and the door swung open nearly a second later._

_“Have a good time, girls–” Nana G’s voice was cut off by the swift closing of the door._

_“What the fuck, Griff.” Anya squinted at Clarke who barreled out of the door in a baggy sweatshirt and jeans._

_Lexa shared the same confusion. June in Ocean City wasn’t a time for sweaters and hoodies. Her own outfit consisted of denim shorts and a cropped muscle tee, “It’s like 90 degrees, what are you wearing?”_

_“C’mon. Let’s go,” Clarke started to power walk across the lawn. She was on a mission to put as much distance between her Nana’s house and her physical body, and Lexa and Anya scurried behind her to keep up._

_“Are you breaking a sweat yet?” Anya let out when they finally reached Clarke who was stopped at a street corner._

_Clarke rolled her eyes as she unzipped the hoodie. She tossed it to Lexa, who didn’t get the memo, and let the sweatshirt hit her and fall to the ground. Her eyes were busy with something else._

_“Woaaah, Griff,” Anya mock-whistled. “You’re out to get ‘em tonight, huh? Putting a number on for Collins?”_

_“Oh, please.” Clarke rolled her eyes again as she brushed down the miniscule material that made up her strappy halter top. Her midriff was fully exposed, with her low-rise jeans sitting snugly at the base of her hips. She started walking towards the neighborhood Echo lived in, until she noticed that only Anya was at her side._

_Lexa. Poor Lexa. She was still standing there with her eyes on Clarke, even from ten yards away. Lexa was used to seeing Clarke in bathing suits every day, but she certainly was not used to Clarke dressing like this for a night out._

_Clarke sighed and doubled back to where Lexa was standing. She bent over to pick up the sweatshirt that was on the ground before mustering the courage to sneak something into Lexa’s ear, “You can look all you want once we get to the party and I have a beer in my hand.”_

_Lexa cleared her throat at the feeling of Clarke’s breath against her skin, “I wasn’t looking at anything.” She hoped the blush creeping up her neck was hidden from the moonlight._

_“You’ve been looking since I got back down here,” Clarke nudged her shoulder against Lexa’s before she skipped forward to head back to where Anya was standing. She turned around and noticed Lexa wasn’t following suit yet. She bit her bottom lip and decided to add, “I’ve been looking too.”_

_Before Lexa could answer, the moment was interrupted by a fed up Anya, “Oh for fuck’s sake. Can you guys get this shit over with already so we can get to the damn party?!”_

***

The loud pop music was enough to remind Lexa why she opted for back porch beers instead of watered down drinks at shoobie hot spots. Her and Anya had arrived a little too early, which meant the pair was already on their second round before Clarke and Lincoln were set to show up.

“Slow down, tiger,” Anya laughed as Lexa took another swig of the drink.

“It’s all water,” she stared into the bottom of the glass. “But for what they’re charging, you’d think there’d be diamonds dropped in every glass.”

Anya cringed as she watched the bartender pour a pitcher of Long Island Iced Teas. “This bar is awful.”

“You chose it,” Lexa deadpanned. “Why is it that we’re here?”

“Because the DJ comes on at 9 and it’s hilarious to watch all the shoobies get blasted and try to find someone to bring home from the dance floor.”

The bartender made her way to the pair, checking in on them and asking if there was anything else they wanted. She knew them from town, and opted not to push their Jello shot specials or list off the collection of sugar-filled fruity fishbowls.

As they were making a decision on another drink, her phone pinged. A text from Lincoln appeared saying they were two blocks away and were thirsty for some brews. Anya made it a point to keep his last comment to herself, wanting to see what effect it would have on Lexa.

_Griff’s dressed like she’s on the prowl._

Anya tucked the phone away, ordered the drinks, and waited for Lexa’s jaw to drop.

As soon as the bartender appeared with the four bottles, Anya scooted Lexa to a round booth closer to the dance floor. Something about being able to sit closer, but Lexa barely understood what she was saying with the music thudding even louder. As soon as they sat down, Clarke and Lincoln walked in and started marching straight towards them. Clarke’s presence hit her like a wave crashing into the shoreline. A short, snug dress, wavy hair, smokey eyes—the combination was enough to cause a signal malfunction in Lexa’s brain. This was far different than the Clarke that had been hanging out all summer. That Clarke had reminded Lexa of why they always got along, why they had always gravitated towards each other. This Clarke? This Clarke shot Lexa right out of her orbit.

“He wasn’t kidding,” Anya said to herself, before she nudged Lexa in the side. “You’re staring.”

“Huh?” Lexa asked, her eyes lingered another moment before turning to Anya. “What?”

Anya patted her on the head, “Nothing.”

The smirk on Clarke’s face was telling that her mission was already accomplished. She took the seat across Lexa, with Lincoln at her side facing Anya. “Anya, one of these for me?”

“Yep,” Anya slid one over. “Forgiven?”

Clarke shrugged before she clinked her bottle to Anya’s, “A deal’s a deal.” She turned forward to face Lexa, “Hey there.”

“What about me?” Lexa raised a brow. It took every ounce of her to gain any sense of composure, but she was finally there.

“Ask me again after you buy me the two drinks you owe me,” Clarke shrugged.

After the first round, Clarke seemed to have dropped the grudge and charade she had been putting on. The combination of the beer and noticing the way Lexa had been looking at her was enough to lower her defenses. By the time they finished their second round, the DJ had started and unknowingly, Clarke was returning the fleeting glances.

“She’s hot,” Lincoln stared off at a girl on the dance floor. “C’mon, Ahn,” he stood up. “I need you to help show off how good of a dancer I am.”

Anya rolled her eyes but followed suit, “If you start Magic Mik-ing up there, I’m coming back to the table.”

Lexa let out a laugh at the display, while Clarke shuddered at the thought. She looked at her dwindling beer and turned to Lexa, “I’m ready to forgive you if you’re ready to get us another round.”

“Coming right up,” Lexa smiled as she stood up. “I’ll be right back.”

“Find me on the dance floor instead,” Clarke winked as she got up. She put an extra sway in her hips, knowing quite well that green eyes would be following.

\---

Lexa scanned the crowd, trying to find the familiar figure she’d had her eyes on the entire evening. With a beer in each hand, she wove around the countless bodies swaying to the bad remix of whatever Top 40’s song was playing. Lincoln and Anya were standing around, half-dancing and fully laughing at the groups of intoxicated strangers. Clarke was beautifully chuckling at their sides.

“Drink number two, from me to you,” Lexa handed the beer over and came closer into Clarke’s space. Her previous drinks removed all sense of inhibition, and the way Clarke was looking at her gave her more courage than the booze was. “Forgiven?”

Clarke turned her face to brush the tip of her nose onto Lexa’s cheek, “Let me finish this one and then I’ll let you know.” She raised her hand and brought the bottle to her face as she took one step back to make room to take a sip, “Cheers, Lex.”

Anya nudged Lincoln, who had also caught the quick display of affection only a few feet away from them. “Did you see that?” she asked, while her eyes never left the pair.

“I told you she was on the prowl,” Lincoln bit the side of his cheek. “I guess I just didn’t realize she was prowling for a specific person.”

Anya rolled her eyes, “They were both goners the second Clarke came back here.” She looked back over and saw the two exit the dance floor and head back to the table, “How much do you want to bet they get it on again?”

Lincoln peered over, “I think it’s a matter of when.”

Anya and Lincoln strolled over to the bar to get another round and see if anything more exciting was happening, instead of sticking back to watch history repeat itself—something that Clarke and Lexa seemed to be more than capable of bearing on their own.

They were nestled close in the booth. Arms were touching and laughs were being shared. Clarke took another sip of her beer, which was nearly halfway finished.

Lexa raised a brow, “Thirsty?”

“Something like that,” Clarke shrugged as she took another sip. She slid a few inches away from Lexa, just enough to be able to fully turn her body towards hers, “Forgiven but not forgotten.”

Lexa raised the corner of her lips into a smirk, “Says the one who’s playing hard to forget.”

“Is that right?” Clarke hoped the blush creeping up her face was masked by the beer-blush she was already sporting. “How do you reckon that?”

“Well,” with the few drinks under her belt paired with the look Clarke was giving her, Lexa was feeling confident as ever. She leaned in closer. “You certainly got jealous the other day, and then you showed up tonight looking like–,” Lexa unconsciously bit her bottom lip trying to see how she wanted to phrase her thoughts, “–this.”

The look in Lexa’s eyes triggered something deeper in Clarke. Something that mixed feelings old and new. Something that she was more than happy to explore with the eager-looking participant two inches away from her. She cocked her head to the side and brought her hand to trace Lexa’s jawline, slowly making its way up to her bottom lip. And upon the touch, she realized how badly she needed to kiss her.

“Do it,” Lexa whispered. She was clearly having the same thoughts.

“Fine,” Clarke said in a hushed breath as she moved her face towards Lexa’s.

She placed a soft kiss where her thumb was just lingering, before fully joining their mouths together. The feeling of Lexa’s lips against hers, even after all these years, was as familiar as the sounds of waves hitting the shore.

The kiss caused more want than it did fulfill anything. Clarke pulled back and rested her forehead against Lexa’s and let out a wavered breath, “Should we get out of here?”

\---

Lexa woke up in a mess. A tangled mess. A really tangled mess of sheets and limbs and messy, golden hair. A really tangled mess with a real lack of clothes from the night before.

She removed the arm that was draped over Clarke’s waist and rubbed her eyes. The clock on the nightstand still showed it was early in the morning. Clarke was always the heavier sleeper between the two, and though she wasn’t sure if that had changed throughout the years, Lexa was ready to bet on that still being the case. She knew she wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep, so she decided to sling her arm back over and slowly wake up the sleeping beauty next to her.

Lexa traced patterns where her hand laid and nuzzled her face into the back of Clarke’s neck, sprinkling a trail of kisses up and down until she finally started to stir.

“I could get used to waking up like this,” Clarke let out, still half-asleep. “I could also get used to what we did last night.”

Lexa laughed into the mess of hair that had sprawled onto her side of the bed, “I can arrange something.”

“I’d like that,” Clarke hummed as she placed her hand on top of Lexa’s. She took a deep inhale and realized that the previous night wasn’t a month in the making. It was most definitely over a decade in the making. Upon her return to their beach town, she never wanted to assume that she would ever have another morning waking up to Lexa at her side, especially after a night like the previous one. The swell of her heart was unrivaled to anything she had experienced in the last eleven years. She kissed the hand that she held within her own and drifted back into a morning slumber, happier than she had ever remembered being.

At the sound of Clarke’s breathing evening out, Lexa knew that she had fallen back to sleep. She pulled her body closer into Clarke’s and let her mind replay the events of the night leading to this very moment. Every whimper of her name that had escaped Clarke’s lips had sent her spiraling further into an emotional hole she knew she wouldn’t be able to escape from. But being in this place again with Clarke, remembering what it felt like to bring her over the edge, being there in bed with her the next morning, it was enough to brush any hint of apprehension aside. To Lexa, this moment was the mark of a fresh beginning, and if Clarke was awake at that very moment, the look of ardour Lexa held in her eyes would be enough to show her that their story was far from over.


	3. Catch A Wave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A speedbump.

Like clockwork, Lexa woke as the sun started to rise over the Atlantic. She smiled at the faint sounds of the waves crashing in the distance. This was always her favorite time of day. Mornings were beautiful and peaceful and serene. The rising sun, soft waves, and seabirds chirping to start their day’s catch. Even as a child, Lexa had been fond of her mornings. Mornings meant a fresh start to a new day. Mornings meant new opportunities. This summer, in particular, the only added bonus was that most mornings were spent waking up next to Clarke.

Over the weeks, she had noticed some differences in Clarke from when they were seventeen and freshly in love, and now. Little quirks. Hands were more determined, kisses were full of more want, and every aural of sighs and moans had started to mirror the sounds of a symphony.

But at the same time, so many things had remained the same. Familiar things. Clarke was still in the camp of clinging onto Lexa throughout the night, always needing to touch, to stay in contact with her in some way. Clarke still made sure to start any trail of kisses at Lexa’s jaw, no matter where she knew her mouth was going to end up. Clarke still twirled her fingers around the hairs on the back of Lexa’s neck to let her know she was about to reach her breaking point. Every. Single. Time.

Now more than ever, mornings were definitely Lexa’s favorite time of day.

“Clarke,” Lexa peppered kisses across the span of skin between her shoulders. “You’ve gotta get up.”

Clarke stirred, slowly coming to. She groggily shook her head as she opened her sleep-fueled eyes, “No. Too early. Ask me again later.”

Lexa laughed. This had become a common morning battle between the two. “You told me to wake you up, Clarke. Get up,” she tapped her hand along Clarke’s backside. “Come on,” she added before she made her escape from the bed. “Rise and shine.”

“Nooo,” Clarke exaggeratedly howled. Her arms flailed towards the direction Lexa had sauntered off to. “Come back, please. I’m cold.”

Lexa smiled at the theatrics. “You wouldn’t be so cold if you had some clothes on.”

Clarke huffed as she sat up in the bed. She looked down at her bare chest and gave Lexa a knowing look. “I thought you preferred me this way.”

Lexa let her eyes wander, “Hmm.” She leaned over the bed, hovered closer to Clarke, and landed a soft kiss on her cheek. “You’re right. I do.” She drew away quickly and turned to put her own shirt on. “But you need to get up. Something about you having some very important work to do. And I have to get going.”

“Don’t go,” Clarke pouted.

“As much as I’d love to stay,” Lexa was now fully clothed and ready to head home for a quick shower and change of clothes to start her day. “I’d rather not let my seafood delivery be left outside of the shack. Something tells me that wouldn’t bode over well for anyone.”

The pout remained on Clarke’s face. “This doesn’t bode over well for me.”

“I’ll see you later,” Lexa reminded her.

Clarke started to make her way off the bed, towards Lexa. “One more kiss,” she slung her arms around Lexa’s sides. “For good measure.”

“For good measure,” Lexa repeated before she pressed their lips together. “I’ll see you later.”

\---

Clarke hated mornings. She hated being woken up from whimsical dreams. She hated knowing that a long day of work was ahead of her. She hated the groggy feeling that always swooped through her body once she stepped out of bed. She hated it all until a few weeks ago. She hated them until her mornings turned into sequels of nights’ prior with Lexa. She hated them until she was awoken by kisses that felt old and new. She hated them until a few weeks ago when Lexa wound up in her bed and stayed by her side until daylight finally broke. She hated them until she realized her heart swelled to the size of the morning sun whenever they woke up with their limbs intertwined.

Now, mornings were definitely Clarke’s favorite time of day.

After a shower, rinsing herself of sleep and traces of Lexa, Clarke finally sat at her desk. The last few weeks had been productive to say the least, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of the new environment she was in or the new body that had found its way into her bed. Regardless, her work had been the best it’s been since she started, and it didn’t go unnoticed by anyone back in New York.

_I think this is it, C. Great stuff. Think about spending more time down there, it seems to be doing some good for you._

_-MK_

She smiled at the screen and deeply exhaled. She felt sated in every aspect of her life and she was finally able to breathe.

***

_**15 Summers Ago, 13-Years Old** _  
_The early-July Ocean City heat was a force to be reckoned with. It was the hottest time of the year, but the humidity wasn’t as bad as it would be the following month. Still, running around outside for long periods tired the girls out quicker than previous weekends._

_“C’mon Clarke,” Lexa egged her friend on. Lexa and Anya had spent the bulk of the day trying to teach Clarke a few moves Lincoln had shown them on his longboard. “You kicked ass today, you’re totally ready for this.”_

_“Both my knees are scraped already, Lex,” Clarke was unsure about this new maneuver Lexa was trying to get her to do. Trying to keep her balance going down a straight road was one thing, but getting enough air to hop off the sidewalk onto the street was another._

_“Summer’s for scraping your knees!” Both Lexa and Anya chanted back to the girl._

_It wasn’t until Lexa saw a glint of fear in Clarke's eyes that she walked closer towards her. “Hey.” Lexa put her hand on Clarke’s arm, “It’s okay if you fall again, it’s just how you learn. I won’t let you get too hurt, you know that.”_

_Clarke offered a smile, “Okay, but if I get another scrape, you gotta clean it. It hurts like hell when Nana does it with those wipes.”_

_“I think the wipes are good for you,” Lexa pondered. “But I can help. Promise.”_

_“Okay, fine,” Clarke nodded. “I’ll try.”_

_“Okay, we’re gonna watch from the other side of the street,” Lexa called out as she started to run back towards Anya. “Just pretend like you’re gonna catch a wave or something. It’ll make it feel more fun.”_

_With a final nod, Clarke took off. She had enough speed to jump the board off the sidewalk, but unfortunately her landing wasn’t as graceful as she had hoped. Her elbow took the brunt of the fall. Thankfully it was just another scrape._

_“Dang,” Lexa called out. “That was pretty good, though,” Lexa met Clarke in the street and reached her hand to help bring Clarke to her feet. “You did a good job. Maybe we should call it for today?”_

_“No,” Clarke brushed off the dirt from her clothes and used the hem of her shirt to wipe her bloody elbow. “I wanna do it like you guys. I’m gonna try again.”_

***

“Fuck,” Clarke yelped. Lincoln’s teaching hadn’t failed her until that very moment. However, Clarke knew she couldn’t fault him for her bad hand-eye coordination. She looked down at the fingernail that was abruptly met with the hammer in her other hand and saw blood starting to flow. “For fuck’s sake.”

The house had been cleaned of most things after her Nana had passed. Jake made a point to come down shortly after, and Clarke made a point of staying home with her mom in New York during it all. During his purge of the house, he set aside sentimental items—clothes and jewelry and photos—all to be kept as keepsakes. All summer activity items—Clarke’s boogie boards, skateboards, and kites—went into the shed for any future renters. In a week’s time, and a lot of manual labor, he got the house ready to start renting it out.

Clarke went from bathroom to bathroom, opening cabinets looking for any signs of bandages or a first aid kit, but to no avail. Unsurprisingly, all she found were nearly empty bottles of aspirin left behind by previous summer tennants.

She picked up her phone to look at the time. Lexa was supposed to arrive in fifteen minutes, so she gave her a quick call.

Not even a full ring went by before she picked up. Clarke could hear the grin in Lexa’s voice “Hey, you. What’s up?”

“Are you on your way here?” Clarke asked.

“Yeah. Driving now,” Lexa offered. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, no. Everything’s fine,” Clarke started. “I was just hoping you’d still be home. There’s no first aid kit here and I fucked up my finger and wanted to see if you had one.”

“Are we talking about ‘hospital’ fucked up, or ‘nothing a bandage can’t fix’ fucked up?”

Clarke laughed, “The latter. It’s fine, though. I’ll survive. See you soon.”

\---

A knock on the door stole Clarke’s attention from the makeshift bandage she was trying to MacGyver. She wasn’t fairing very well in the department of paper towels and duct tape, and her hand was starting to look like it was being fit for a boxing glove.

She made her way to the door and opened it to find Lexa. Forgetting that her hand was attemptedly wrapped, she brought it up to try and pull her into a kiss, “Hey, you’re here.”

Lexa gave the mitt-like creation a curious eye as she held up a bag, “I think you might need a little help with that, Clarke.”

Clarke looked at her hand and furrowed her brow, “I don’t know. I think I did a pretty good job.”

“You did an awful job,” Lexa deadpanned as she shoved by Clarke. She grabbed her non-mitt-like hand and yanked her towards the kitchen. “Come on, let me fix this.”

Clarke oomphed at the pull and followed her lead, “What’s there to fix?”

“Did you clean it?” Lexa asked as she directed Clarke to take a seat. She set the bag down and started to pull the contents out.

Clarked eyed a small box of bandaids, a box labeled ‘First Aid Kit’ and a little box of alcohol wipes. Her eyes nearly bugged out, “Yeah of course. Just the bandaid is fine, thanks.”

“Clarke,” Lexa rolled her eyes. “You said you didn’t have anything. What’d you clean it with?”

“It’s clean!” Clarke yelped. “Here,” she started unraveling the mess of blood-spotted paper towels. “Just the bandaid is fine.”

“You’re being a baby,” Lexa laughed as she started to open one of the wipes. “Give me your hand and stop being dramatic.”

“Lexa, it’s fine,” Clarke tried again.

Lexa rolled her eyes as she grabbed the unwilling hand towards her, “You’re nearly 30, yet you’re acting like a baby.”

“Well excuse me for not wanting to feel like my finger is going to sizzle off my body,” Clarke huffed.

“Your finger might fall off your body if you don’t let me do this,” Lexa eyed her.

Clarke smirked, “Who’s being dramatic now?”

“Sass me again and I’ll wipe that smile off your face,” Lexa taunted as she held up the wipe. “C’mon, Clarke. Maybe if you’re good we can go get an ice cream after.”

“Don’t patronize me, Lex,” she begrudgingly tossed her hand into Lexa’s.

Lexa just shook her head and placed a soft kiss into the palm of Clarke’s hand before she quickly cleaned off Clarke’s finger.

“Shit!” Clarke yelped and yanked her hand away. “Jesus.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “See? All better. Let me put the bandaid on.”

Clarke slunk her shoulders down. “When we get to Indra’s, you’re buying.”

***

_**19 Summers Ago, 9-Years Old** _  
_“Mom,” the young girl pleaded. “I’m going to be in the fourth grade this year! I can go by myself.”_

_The woman looked down at her daughter, the ever-persistent smaller version of her own self, “Love, I’ll walk there with you. But you can go in by yourself, okay? Isn’t Anya’s mom doing the same?”_

_The young girl brought her hand to her chin and scrunched her face, “Maybe.”_

_“See,” her mother pointed out. “You two will be the same, then.”_

_“When are you and dad going to start letting me walk to get ice cream on my own?” Lexa added._

_Her mother took a pause, “When you’re old enough.” She hugged the small girl and placed a kiss on top of her head, “You know it gets crowded with all the tourists in the summer, my love. We just want to make sure you’re safe, that’s all.”_

_“When am I going to be old enough? It’s not fair that I can’t go because of all the shoobies,” she huffed as she slipped her flip flops on._

_“What did your father and I tell you about that word, Lexa?” Her mother’s tone started to change._

_“But that’s what everyone else calls them,” Lexa looked down._

_Her mother arched a brow, “And if everyone jumped off a bridge, would you follow?”_

_“Only if it’s high tide,” the girl shrugged. “That’s what Anya says.”_

_“Oh boy,” her mother laughed at her logic. “I’ll have to talk to Anya’s mom about this. Make sure she doesn’t jump off any bridges in the future.”_

\---

_The walk to the local creamery was a quick one from their small bungalow. Memorial Day Weekend marked the opening of the small establishment, a weekend chosen knowing that floods of out-of-towners would be present and in need of a cold summer snack. It became an annual ritual for Elena Woods and Naomi Forester to bring their daughters to get pistacchio cones on that very Saturday._

_“Anya!” Lexa screamed out, breaking away from her mother’s hand as she ran towards her best friend. “Mom said I could go inside by myself this year. Do you think your mom would let you, too?”_

_Both girls looked up to Naomi with pleading eyes, and the only thing the woman was able to do was laugh._

_Before she could answer, they heard the voice of another young child, “Dad, can I go by myself, too?”_

_“Kiddo, how about I come in with you, and next time you can go alone while I wait outside?” The man answered the girl._

_“It’s okay, she can come with us,” Lexa offered to the stranger. “We’re from here, we can help her.”_

_“Yeah,” Anya chimed. “We know Indra so maybe she’ll give you extra sprinkles like she does for us, if you’re with us.”_

_“Cool!” The other girl beamed. “I’m Clarke!”_

_“I’m Lexa,” the girl smiled. “And this is my best friend Anya. Are you a shoobie? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here.”_

_“Lexa!” Elena huffed. “Didn’t we just talk about this?”_

_“Sorry,” she corrected herself. “Are you an out-of-towner?”_

_Clarke’s dad couldn’t help but laugh at the scene before him. “We’re out-of-towners, but my mom, Clarke’s Nana, lives here. She’s going to spend the summer here with her, so maybe you guys can show her the ropes?” He directed his attention back to his daughter, “It would be nice to make some new friends. Right, kiddo?”_

_“Yeah,” Clarke nodded. “I think I’d like that. Do you guys want to go inside?”_

_“Yeah,” Anya looked towards the building. “I wanna make sure Indra doesn’t run out of the pistacchio. It’s the best.”_

_“Yeah, it’s the best,” Lexa smiled in agreement. “Come on Clarke,” Lexa said, grabbing the girl’s hand to drag her inside._

_The three adults stood back with nothing but smiles on their faces._

_“Sorry to intrude,” the man spoke up. “I’m Jake Griffin, Clarke’s dad. My mom’s place is just right down the road on Townsend, the white house at the end of the street.”_

_“Oh, you’re Norma’s son,” Elena smiled. “I work at the market and see her most days. She was saying how excited she was that her granddaughter would be spending the summer.”_

_“Leave it to mom to make friends everywhere she goes,” Jake laughed._

_“Seems as if your daughter has the same gene,” Naomi smiled. “Rest assured, our girls will take her under their wings and they’ll all be best friends by the end of the summer.”_

***

Despite Clarke continuously complaining that Lexa had attacked her with a disinfectant wipe, the walk to Indra’s was as enjoyable as it could be. July meant that the sun’s rays were at an all time high in their town, but the two knew they’d be quickly rewarded with their favorite scoop from the creamery.

“Hmm,” Clarke hummed as they turned onto the boardwalk. It was filled with families taking walks, trotting around with their arcade and boardwalk game winnings. Kids on bikes and skateboards, and teens trying to look cooler than they actually were. Clarke looked in the direction of a few high school kids sitting on the metal fence that stood between the boardwalk and the sand, “Did we look that dweebie when we were their age?”

“You definitely did,” Lexa smirked. “I was always cool.”

Clarke jokingly shoved her as they neared Indra’s. “You fucking wish, Lex.”

Lexa puffed her chest as she raised a brow. “I had to have been cool. I got the girl.”

Clarke rolled her eyes at the display. “Shut up and buy me a cone.”

“After you, my dear,” Lexa hopped onto the top step to reach the door to Indra’s and extravagantly held it open for Clarke. Clarke eyed the exaggerated display and Lexa added, “For all your troubles today. Please, after you.”

Though Indra wasn’t working at the shop anymore, everyone knew it would always be hers. The long colorful boards listed all the flavors in her handwriting and was sealed with paint. The signage used bright and contrasting colors to appeal to kids and adults alike, and it brought them both fluttering back with memories.

“You could say that this was our first date,” Clarke nudged Lexa who was reading all the signs, intensely concentrated. It was something she always did, and it always boggled Clarke and Anya’s minds. They all knew exactly what they were going to order—it never changed in the nine years of friendship in their younger years. But still, Lexa was always inquisitive of it all.

She finally brought her attention back to Clarke as they progressed down the line, “Oh, yeah? How do you figure that?”

“It’s where we first met,” Clarke shrugged.

“I’d like to think I did a really good job on our actual first date, Clarke,” Lexa shook her head, remembering the late-night picnic on the beach. Lobster rolls from Gus’ and a few cans of skunked beer she had managed to steal from her dad. Paired with Lexa’s heart eyes, it was all that was needed to have Clarke swooning.

Clarke laughed at the memory. “It was a perfect first date. I just mean, this is where it all started. Where we first met. It’s sort of the start of our lov–”

She stopped herself when she realized what was about to come out. Their love story. They had fallen in love in their younger years, and they were effortlessly doing it again. The only problem was that with all the nights spent together, all the kissing, the touching, the talking—there was no actual talking of what was going on between them. It was unspoken, even between their friends. They were taking this day-by-day, but neither had really brought up what it could mean for the future.

At Clarke’s abrupt ending, and at the look of uneasiness in her eyes, Lexa immediately softened. She took Clarke’s hand in her own and brought it to her mouth for a gentle kiss, “You’re right. It was the start of it all.” She let go of her hand and dropped a kiss on top of her head. “It’s a pretty good story, if you ask me.”

Clarke nuzzled into Lexa’s neck, “Mmm, my favorite story.”

\---

“God,” Clarke sighed after swallowing a huge bite. “It’s better than I remembered.”

“Mhmm,” Lexa smiled as she licked a spot being melted by the heat. “Best ice cream cone in town.”

“In the world, even,” Clarke corrected, following Lexa’s lead.

Lexa went in for a bite, “These are going to be totally melted by the time we get back to the house.”

Clarke looked up to find a smear of the light green ice cream above Lexa’s top lip and saw an opportunity, “Come here.”

Lexa scrunched her face, wondering what Clarke needed, but obliged. Before she could question anything Clarke’s lips were latched onto hers. The kiss tasted like everything summer should be—sunshine, and pistachio ice cream, and Clarke. Before Lexa could lean into it, Clarke pulled away and swept her tongue over Lexa’s top lip.

“Mmm,” Clarke hummed. “I’ve had a lot of this ice cream since we were nine, but I think that’s the best taste of it yet.”

\---

Clarke wasn’t sure what her return to Ocean City would be like. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to win back the friendships she left behind, let alone win the girl back. But ultimately, she soon found that her presence seamlessly integrated into the lives of the close-knit group.

They had found themselves falling back into certain routines while making new ones, and she was starting to realize she was more than just “happy enough.”

Like most of the Friday nights that had passed, Clarke and Anya found themselves a bit boozed up, sitting at the shack while Lexa cleaned up and closed. Happy hour at shoobie bars meant $15 buckets of shitty domestic beer, but the two were more than happy to spend their afternoons indulging. Like clockwork, once the happy hour concluded, they would waltz off to pester Lexa until they could head back to Clarke’s house to continue the night.

“Shit,” Clarke sighed into her phone. Her fingers moved at the speed of light as she typed a reply back to the text message, before she set the phone back down on the table.

Anya propped an elbow onto the table and let her chin fall into her palm. “Cliffhanger, much?”

Clarke shook her head. “Lincoln and I were supposed to do the second coat of the back deck on Sunday, but he had to bail because the shop double booked him.”

“Just the second coat?” Anya eyed her, “Like, no real manual labor? No hammers and shit?”

“Just the second coat,” Clarke repeated. “Why?”

“Seems easy enough, we’ll just help you,” Anya offered as she shrugged.

“Really?” Clarke scoffed. “Where was this eagerness last month when I asked you to help me paint some of the bedrooms?”

“I wouldn’t call this ‘eagerness,’ Griff,” Anya deadpanned. “I’m just offering to help because I’m in a good mood.”

Clarke laughed at the thought. Anya in a good mood was still Anya brooding and oozing with sass. “Whatever you say. I’ll take all the help I can get.”

Anya smirked, “Alright. It’s settled.” She called over Clarke’s shoulder towards Lexa who was almost done with her work, “Ya hear that, Lex? We’ve got plans helping your girlfriend with her back deck on Sunday. Make sure Echo’s here all day, because I’m sure we’re going to find a way to screw something up!”

At the sound of “girlfriend” Clarke’s stomach filled with a kaleidoscope of butterflies flying around in summersault formation, while Lexa’s head simultaneously went into overdrive. It had been well over a month since the two had fallen into each other’s beds and into each other’s hearts again. And as much time as they spent together, as much as they were comfortable showing their affection in front of other people, they still hadn’t sat down to talk about what was really going on.

Lexa slowly turned around, her face was clearly drained of her summer’s tan and she looked like she was staring death in the face, “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I can be free.” She quickly turned back around to tie a trash bag and bolted out the back door with it.

“What the hell was that?” Anya turned to Clarke in confusion. “Did you guys break up and not tell me?”

“Uh,” Clarke started, a smile was present on her face at Lexa’s not-so-stealthy exit. “I think you freaked her out by calling me her girlfriend.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Anya threw her hands in the air. “Please tell me you two have sat down, like the adults that you are, and have had a fucking conversation about your relationship.”

“I...” Clarke started again. She bit her bottom lip and tilted her head to the side, “No?”

Anya brought her hands to both sides of her head in annoyance, “Seriously. It’s like we’re fucking seventeen again. Unbelievable.” She let her arm fall to rest on the table. “Go outside and make sure your _girlfriend_ didn’t toss herself into the dumpster with that bag. She’s probably going to hide for all of fucking eternity now.”

Clarke rolled her eyes as she got up to follow her orders. Out the back door, she found Lexa standing near the dumpster with the bag of trash still in her hand.

Clarke leaned against the wall and watched her, “You’re going to smell awful if you don’t toss that in there soon, Lex.”

Lexa let out a soft laugh, “Hi.” She finally threw the bag inside and closed the lid. She started to shuffle her feet. “Did you need something out here?”

“Lex,” Clarke smiled as she walked towards her. Once she was within distance, she grabbed her hand. “Just checking to see why my _girlfriend_ got so flustered when she was called my _girlfriend_. That’s all.”

“Is that what we are?” Lexa’s eyes were full of concern.

Clarke took notice, and tried to brush off the worry. “It sure feels like it. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Lexa sighed. “It does.”

“Do you not want this?” Clarke stepped back.

Lexa reached back out for her hand, “Wait. I do.” She sighed again, “I really want this. It feels good, and it feels right. I just know you being here is temporary, that’s all.”

“Is that all you’re worried about?” Clarke squeezed her hand. “Lex, let’s not think about that yet, okay? The house isn’t done. It’s not close to being on the market yet. New York is only four hours away, we’ll figure it out once the time comes, okay?”

“So, you want this too?” Lexa half-smiled.

Clarke nodded, “More than.” She kept Lexa’s hand in her own but took another step back, “As much as I’d love to kiss you right now, you’re leaning on a dumpster that’s filled with old seafood. So if you’d like to cash in on this, I’d suggest you step away from that thing.”

Lexa let out another laugh and followed suit, capturing Clarke’s mouth with her own. Clarke Griffin had managed to capture her heart for a second time, and she had never been happier.

\---

“Are we done yet?” The sweat trickling down Anya’s face was enough to make her want to call it quits. “It’s disgusting out.”

“This was your brilliant idea, Ahn,” Lexa grumbled as she finished painting one of the posts of the deck. Her faded tank top was clinging to her body every chance it got. It was annoying for her, but provided nice visuals for Clarke.

Clarke caught herself gawking before she rolled her eyes at the two. “One more post and we’re done and you two can sulk inside in the air conditioning.”

“I’d rather be at the beach,” Anya offered. “Which I think we should do instead.”

Lexa nodded in agreement.

“You guys can go now if you want,” Clarke was focused on getting the right strokes on the last post, which was near finished. “I need to hang back. I’ve got a few deadlines coming up for work this week. I also haven’t started reaching out to any agents down here yet because I wanted to do some research on the market.” She looked in Anya’s direction, “If you know anyone, I was hoping you could give me some contacts for when I’m ready?”

“Sure,” Anya shrugged as she gleefully put her brush down. “What’s your plan, anyway? List it as soon as it’s done?”

“I don’t know,” Clarke set her own brush down. She looked at Lexa who was staying silent during the conversation and gave her a sad smile before she turned back to Anya, “I guess that’s what I need to research. I don’t know anything about the market.”

Anya nodded as she answered, “Honestly, you’d probably be better off listing it at the end of winter or beginning of spring when people are jonesing for a beach house. The house is obviously great, but there’s a big chance it’s just going to sit on the market until then anyway.”

“I figured,” Clarke sighed. “It wouldn’t be the end of the world to hold onto it for a little more, anyway,” she smiled in Lexa’s direction. “I quite like it down here.”

Lexa let out the breath she didn’t even realize she was holding and smiled back, “I quite like you being down here.”

“I’m still here,” Anya scolded. “I thought you two would have passed the honeymoon phase already since this is your second go-around and all. You’re so in love that it’s sickening.”

By the looks between Clarke and Lexa, Anya realized she had let another cat out of the bag. The coy smiles and blush creeping up both of their necks were enough to tell her that the two idiots standing in front of her have yet to have another conversation about their relationship and feelings. Again.

Anya rolled her eyes as she grumbled and grabbed Lexa by the arm, “Kiss your girlfriend goodbye and let’s go to the beach.” She turned to Clarke, “Griff, let me know if you have any questions while you’re doing whatever research. I’ll reach out to a few people for you also.”

Clarke thanked Anya and waved her off as she strolled towards Lexa, “You’re all sweaty, babe.”

The corners of Lexa’s mouth lifted into a smirk, “I thought you liked me this way.”

“Only when it’s because of me,” Clarke leaned in and placed a kiss on her jaw, then another on her lips. “Go jump in the ocean before you melt. Call me later if you want to come back.”

“I’ll definitely be back,” Lexa smiled into another kiss.

“Seriously!” Anya huffed at Lexa. “She already said she’s not rushing to leave. Can you keep your paws off each other for two seconds?”

“Sorry,” Clarke glared. “But someone just brought it to our attention that we’re sickenly in love, so you’ll have to give us a moment to celebrate that.”

“Celebrate when I’m not here,” Anya rolled her eyes as she answered Clarke. She turned her attention to Lexa, “I’ll be out front. If you’re longer than ten minutes, I’m leaving without you.”

Lexa's face was buried in Clarke’s neck. She smiled into the soft skin as she replied to her friend, “Ten minutes. Gotcha.”

As soon as Anya made her way out of eyesight, Clarke took the opportunity to bring both hands to either side of Lexa’s face, pulling her head level with her own. The smile on her face was unmatched by the ones cascading from her blue eyes. “I think she’s right.”

“Oh?” Lexa asked.

“Mhm,” Clarke hummed. “I’m sickenly in love with you, Lexa Woods.”

“Well in that case,” Lexa replied. “I’m sickenly in love with you too, Clarke Griffin. Again.”

\---

With or without Anya, Clarke had been accustomed to frequently visiting Lexa at the shack when she knew she’d be closing up shop. There were times when Lexa would feed her there, times when they’d go back to Clarke’s and order dinner, and times that Lexa would have a small bag packed for a nighttime beach picnic—the nighttime beach picnics were Clarke’s favorite kinds of nights.

They easily settled into their favorite spot and exchanged stories of their days. Lexa went on about Echo’s sparring battle with a live lobster and a metal spatula, and Clarke filled her in on the progress she and Lincoln had made with her Nana’s house.

“Seems like you guys are almost done,” Lexa offered with a half smile. “The summer’s flying by, huh?”

Clarke returned the smile, “It is, but it’s been the best summer so far. And I still don’t see an end date in sight.”

“Once the house is sold, though–”

“You heard what Anya said last week,” Clarke reminded her. “I think it’s going to be a while.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that,” Lexa sighed.

Clarke took Lexa’s hand in her own, “I wouldn’t be either. I know whenever I do go back, you better believe I’ll make you come up so we can spend some time together in New York. But I like the idea of coming back down here a lot more often, it just feels more special here.”

Lexa kissed the palm of Clarke’s hand, “It is special. It’s ours.”

“I love you,” Clarke hummed at the feeling of Lexa’s lips against her skin. “And I love thinking of this place as ours.”

Lexa returned the _I love you_ with a thoughtful kiss to Clarke’s lips, “It is ours. It’s where we fell in love.” She let a beat go by before adding, “Twice.”

“I lucked out with you, Woods,” Clarke smiled. “Two love stories in one lifetime with you is more than I could have imagined.”

“It’s one for the books,” Lexa replied with a shrug. “But I digress. Tell me about that project you were working on. The one with the guy who went on a Peruvian soul-searching retreat.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “God, our head editor already approved for him to move forward with a list of edits, but apparently he got back from this two-day thing with a shaman and some trippy tea and he wants to do a total rewrite.”

Lexa raised a brow, “Sounds pretty trippy to me.”

“I don’t know,” Clarke shook her head. “He said something about facing his demons and finally seeing the light and that he has a better picture of what he needs to do for this new piece. He’s had a great trajectory with us so far, so Marcus wants to see what this new ‘perspective’ has given him.”

Lexa nodded, “This Marcus seems like a pretty easy going guy. How’s work otherwise? They’re really still cool with you being down here until you’ve figured out everything with the house?”

Clarke smiled, “He said he could tell that being down here is doing some good for me. And I’ve always been open with my boss about it, and I think he’s put in that word for me, too. The team seems fine with me staying down here for the time being. I think it’ll be another conversation about how I split my time, but I have high hopes for extending this stay and figuring out something a little longer term.”

“I like the sound of that,” Lexa’s eyes seemed to twinkle with the moonlight.

“I thought you would,” Clarke peppered a kiss onto Lexa’s jaw.

\---

For the second time in her life, specifically with Clarke, Lexa had found herself caught in the rip. A summer was spent with laughter and smiles, with kisses and caresses, with falling hopelessly again for her old love and dreading the moment for the season to end. This second time around, time still wasn’t on their side. There was an expiration date of some sorts, and even though they had grown and matured and made a plan for how to carry the relationship through, Lexa still couldn’t brush away the stray feelings of uncertainties and doubts.

“Lex,” Clarke’s voice snapped her out of her own thoughts and brought her back into her surroundings of Nana G’s kitchen.

Clarke had been painting the cabinets different shades of off-whites and egg shells, replacing hardware with various brass and copper knobs. Each tiny square of paint looked almost the same to Lexa, but Clarke seemed to have a hard time picking a final color to replace the original mahogany tone.

Lexa scrunched her face as she took a step closer to the latest color that was painted on, “Hmm, yeah. That’s nice.”

Clarke set the small paint brush into a dish before she swept waves of chestnut over a lean shoulder and wrapped her arms around Lexa, “Where’d you go just now?” A small kiss found its way into the crook of Lexa’s newly exposed neck.

“Nowhere,” Lexa relaxed at the feeling. “Just thinking.”

“About?” Clarke leaned back to put Lexa’s eyes in view. “Talk to me, Lex.”

Lexa sighed, “You’ve always made it so easy to fall in love with you. I’m just worried about having to let you go again. I know we’ve talked about it already. It’s just still in the back of my mind.”

Clarke cocked her head to the side, “Yeah, we have talked about it. And we can continue to talk about it until you feel better. We’ll make it work, okay? I’m in it all the way.” She let her hand fall onto the left of Lexa’s chest, “This is what I want. There’s no way I can easily let it go.”

“Me too,” Lexa said in a whisper. “I’m in it too.”

“Good,” Clarke pressed her lips against Lexa’s. Her hand slowly traced down Lexa’s spine to her backside, giving it a gentle squeeze, “Now tell me which color you think looks best, and what hardware to choose. I can’t decide.”

Lexa let out a laugh as she shook her head, “They all look the same.”

“Lexa,” Clarke huffed. “We’re looking at ten different paint colors.”

Lexa took a step back to examine the samples on the wood, “They really all look the same.” She took another step closer to read the numbers penciled over the dried patches of paint, “Like, are you sure 869 and 1408 aren’t actually the same?”

Clarke scoffed, “Are you suggesting that I’m unable to label paint samples correctly?”

“I’m suggesting that you’ve picked out colors that are nearly identical to each other,” Lexa raised a brow.

“I need the right shade,” Clarke countered. “Can you do me a favor and go upstairs? I have a big envelope of all the swatches and want to know what’s what. I think I was leaning towards _Oxford White_ in the store, but I want to see if it matches the one I like now.”

“Yeah, sure,” Lexa nodded. “Upstairs is pretty big, though. Before I go on a treasure hunt, care to give me a few more clues of where to look?”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Probably on my desk or in my computer bag. I don’t know. Should be around there, though.”

Lexa pulled her in for one last kiss before climbing the staircase. The domesticity of this project—and frankly the summer as a whole—had Lexa feeling like a brand new person in all the best ways possible. The first moment Lexa saw Clarke earlier that summer, a swell took over her chest. Now, after months of time spent together, after getting to know the person Clarke had grown to be, after months of being able to fall in love with her all over again, the initial swell turned into a tsunami every moment she took the time to think about her feelings.

What was meant to be a quick kiss left them both breathless. Clarke rested her forehead against Lexa’s, “What was that for?”

“Just because you’re you,” Lexa smiled as she walked towards the staircase.

Clarke’s chest beat with the warmth that Lexa always brought her, “I love you.”

\---

Lexa waltzed into the room and made straight for the desk. She laughed at Clarke’s directions as she observed that not one bit of the wooden fixture was actually visible from the scattered notebooks, papers, binders, and envelopes. Something that was supposed to be an easy task was now looking to be a little more daunting.

She picked up the first manilla envelope she saw, and the papers inside were not what she was looking for, so it was cast to the side. Three envelopes later, and other than realizing that Clarke’s messy desk was actually quite organized, Lexa found nothing.

She let her eyes scan the desk one more time and then moved towards the leather bag on the floor that was leaning against a leg of the desk. The bag was filled with more envelopes and more folders, and Lexa let out an endeared sigh as she shook her head. The first few she pulled were similar to the ones she found on the desk—cover art for upcoming novels, project reports, and financial earnings of each book Clarke’s team had helped to market. Amazed by the endless papertrail of reports, Lexa was getting a glimpse into what Clarke’s work actually was. She always made comments, saying she needed time to work, time to dig deeper into the numbers. As Lexa flipped through the envelopes and folders, she realized exactly how much of Clarke’s time was consumed with burying herself in her job.

Her hands made their way to the last envelope in the bag. It was heavier, sturdier, than the rest. She knew the weight did not equate to the few pieces of paper stock she was in search of, but she was on a mission and did not want to leave any stone unturned. She removed the sheets of paper and a barely audible gasp left her mouth as she thumbed over the words printed on the first page.

_The Warmth of the Sun_

_A Novel by Clarke Griffin_

Lexa’s mind raked back through every conversation they had shared over the last few months. There were many times in which Clarke had complained about work—complained about clients and things not being done to meet deadlines. But this. She didn’t recall any mention of this.

The night Clarke came back—the night they had an open and honest conversation about their lives—Clarke mentioned that she still wrote, but for herself. This, though. This seemed like something that was likely for more than just herself. This seemed bigger. Much bigger. Lexa didn’t know what to make of it, but a sense of pride swooped through her. The thought of Clarke seeing out something she wanted to do brought the biggest grin to her face.

She flipped through the stack of pages to get a glimpse of what Clarke had been working on. As the pages quickly turned, her smile started to fall and her heart started to beat faster and faster. The names were changed, the location had changed, but she knew the story. She was skipping ahead and letting her eyes catch pivotal moments. It was a story of two friends falling in love. Pages and pages later showed a lapse of time when they were no longer in each other's lives. The pages started to feel like sandpaper against the pads of her fingertips as the hurt began to course through her. Forty pages later, and the characters reconnect by happenstance later on in life. Thirty pages after that, and they’re falling in love with these matured versions of themselves. Another fifteen pages and–

“Lex, what are you doing?” Clarke's voice pulled her attention from the stack of paper in her lap. She was so consumed with figuring this out, with making sense of everything in her hands that she lost sight of the task she was sent upstairs to do. Her sense of pride had faded into unimaginable hurt.

Lexa held up the paper, the cover sheet was right on top for Clarke to see what she had found, “What is this, Clarke?”

“Lexa,” she started. She took a step back to see the look in Lexa’s eyes. The loving green eyes that stared back at her ten minutes prior had suddenly turned to confused anguish. “It’s not what you–”

“What is this, Clarke?” Lexa repeated.

“I’ve been working on my writing,” Clarke offered.

Lexa’s expression didn’t change. She had had a sinking feeling all along, and she told herself that this was all too good to be true. The uncertainties and doubts culminated to this exact moment, and the instinct in her stomach that told her she should have listened to her gut all along, “You came down here to finish this.”

Clarke slowly nodded, “I did.”

“The whole time you’ve been down here,” Lexa’s voice started to rise. She set the papers on top of the desk, “You just needed to finish this.”

“It’s part of why I came down here, Lex. I–”

“You needed to finish this. You came down here for the rest of the story,” Lexa stated as she did her very best to not let her voice break, not let Clarke hear her pain. “I need to go.”

“It’s not what you think,” Clarke finally got a word in. “Can we just talk about this, please? I can explain everything.”

Lexa shook her head, “I’m leaving, Clarke.”

“Just take this with you,” Clarke quickly grabbed Lexa’s arm and she hurriedly stuffed the papers back in the envelope and handed it over. “Please. Just take this with you, okay?”

Lexa blinked as she took the offering and walked out of the room, then out of the house. She grabbed her things and made her way towards her car and realized what really had happened. The rip tide finally got a full hold of her.


	4. Girls On The Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conclusion.

In her earlier years, August was always a bittersweet month for Clarke. It was a continuation of a summer well spent, but it also meant the nearing of an end. As a child and as a teen, it meant that she soon had to pack up her belongings and trek back home to New York. It meant leaving the beach and Nana and Anya and Lexa behind. It meant the beginning of a new school year. It meant countless months before her favorite time of year would come around again. It meant summer was nearly over.

Clarke’s life in New York wasn’t terrible by any means. Quite the opposite, actually. But, it just wasn’t her summer life. Her best friends from home had been her best friends her entire life. Unlike their Lexa and Anya, they got to see Clarke more throughout the calendar year, and they got to be there for Clarke when her Nana and Jake had passed away. Being the daughter of a surgeon and an engineer, she grew up more than comfortable. Everything she wanted was at her fingertips. Granted her parents made sure that she put some work into getting it all. She had chores, she had babysitting jobs, and she had responsibilities. But she also didn’t have to worry about taking out student loans for college tuition, and was never short on cash for a night out with friends.  
August always meant going back to that life, and going back to being that other version of herself. August meant swapping skateboards and beach cruisers for yellow cabs and the subway, swapping bikinis and board shorts for tennis skirts and polo shirts, swapping walks on the beach for walks in Central Park.

Despite not having heard from Lexa in two weeks, not having any of her text messages or phone calls returned, not spending the end of the season with the person she wanted to, Clarke still had her mind set on her decision. This summer, she wasn’t planning on going back to her New York life in August.

“Clarke!” Marcus’ voice boomed from her phone’s speaker. “How the hell are you? How’s the house? Are you dying for the book to go to print?”

“Marcus,” Clarke smiled into the phone. “Hey, good, good. I’m good. The house is almost finished. And yeah, more than ready for it to go to print. How’s everything up there?”

“Things are great back home,” he paused. “Wells had mentioned that he feels good about his last round of edits. He told me about the video calls you guys had been doing for marketing strategies and how they sometimes feel more productive than your face-to-face meetings. Something about how you’re less scary when he knows you’re farther away.”

Clarke laughed. “My bark is worse than my bite.”

“Don’t I know it,” his smile could be heard through the phone. “So. To what do I owe the pleasure? Please don’t tell me you’re waiting on me for something.”

“No, no,” Clarke took a deep breath. “I wanted to talk to you about what you said earlier this summer.”

“Okay, go on.”

“You said you could tell being down here was working in my favor,” Clarke replied.

“I did,” Marcus affirmed. “It gave you what you needed to get those right edits in. Being down there seemed to be crucial to you finishing the book, Clarke.”

“It was,” she agreed. “But I’ve realized that it’s been working in my favor for a lot of other things too. I was hoping to extend my stay. I know I wouldn’t personally be in charge of the marketing and the merchandising my book. but I wanted to get your thoughts on if you think that would be beneficial for the publishing.”

“You mentioned the house is nearly finished,” he started. “Are you still selling it?”

“I’m not sure,” Clarke admitted. “It’s just started to feel like home here.” After months of pouring work into it, into fixing every single part of it to her liking, the thought of letting go of it seemed so far away.

“Okay,” he took a breath. “Have you talked to your team about the possibility of you staying longer?”

“I have,” she let out almost immediately. “And they seem very open to it. I can do my job from anywhere, they know that. I think it’ll be good for getting this book out the door, though.”

“And you’re calling because you want me to help back that decision for you,” he stated.

She nodded slowly. “I think it would help coming from a head editor, based on the project.”

“Are you asking me to vouch for an extended period of time, or are you asking for indefinitely?”

“For an extended period of time that may turn into indefinitely,” she sighed. “I know it’s a lot to ask, Marcus but–”

“Clarke,” he interrupted, “you’ve already proved to your team that you can be great at your job, while finishing your novel, while renovating your house, all from hours away from the office. Have the discussions that you need to, and let me know when you want me to put in a word for you. I’d be happy to do it.”

“Marcus, I–” She stopped to gain a bit of composure. “Thank you.”

\---

It was 10 pm on a Thursday and Anya hadn’t heard from Lexa all day, who had been busying herself with work and doing everything in her power to not read more of the pages that Clarke had sent her off with. Anya was fed up with a sulking best friend.

“Hey,” Anya burst into the shack, after using her ‘emergency key’ when she realized the door was locked. “Glad to see you’re alive.”

“I just talked to you yesterday,” Lexa offered with an eye roll as she shed her apron. “That key’s for emergencies, Ahn.”

Anya sat down at an empty table and motioned for Lexa to follow suit. “This is an emergency, Lex. You’ve been sad, pitiful, and miserable, and I can’t stand it.”

Lexa quickly shot her an angry glare. “Wouldn’t you be?”

“Don’t you think enough time has passed for you to stop brooding and maybe get Clarke’s explanation for everything?” Anya raised a brow. “I mean, come on. Even Echo said you’re insufferable to be around.”

Lexa made a face. “That’s bullshit. She would have said something to me.”

“She has been,” Anya shook her head. “She’s said shit to you in front of me, you’re just not listening. You’re like a miserable shell of a human and we’re one step away from having an intervention to stop your pity party of one.”

“You’re a great friend,” Lexa deadpanned.

“I know I am,” Anya replied. “That’s why I’m here. I think you should hear her out.”

“Did Clarke put you up to this?” Lexa wrinkled her brow. She knew that Anya and Clarke had still been talking, even if it was surface level. She just didn’t know the extent of their conversations.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Anya scoffed. “I’m your best friend. I’m not here doing Clarke’s dirty work. I’m here as _your_ friend giving _you_ advice. And just so you know, I’ve spoken to Clarke here and there. It’s all been about the house.”

“Did she find a realtor?” Lexa was suddenly interested.

She earned another scoff from Anya. “If you want to know that, you should talk to her.”

“I’m almost done with the book,” Lexa changed the subject.

Anya cocked her head to the side, “Oh yeah? How is it?”

“Well, we both already know the story,” Lexa sighed.

It had been two weeks since Lexa left Clarke’s house with the printed pages of Clarke’s book. Anya could tell that she was apprehensive at first. Her anger and resentment got the best of her, and it was apparent in everything her best friend said and did. It wasn’t until earlier in the week when Lexa found some time on a day off to actually give the book a go. Anya knew that Lexa would be familiar with the characters and that she had already lived through most of the narrative, but she didn’t know the ending. And most importantly, she didn’t know what the ending would do to her friend.

Anya offered a sad smile before Lexa spoke up again. “She’s an excellent writer. There were parts that I knew were coming, but I still couldn’t turn the pages fast enough.”

“Maybe I can give it a read when you’re done,” Anya suggested. She was curious about what Lexa had found and what was so damaging to the relationship that had just started to blossom again. “I’ll ask Clarke if she’s okay with that, but I’d really like to.”

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded. “Let me know. If anything, you can just give it back to her for me.”

Anya raised a brow. “Or you could be an adult and give it back yourself.”

“I’m being an adult by walking away from something that was over-romanticized for the purpose of a piece of literary fiction, Anya,” Lexa refuted. “I walked away because it was the right thing to do for me.”

“Okay,” Anya sighed. “I just think there’s more to it, but I get it.”

\---

The hours of daylight were starting to dwindle. Mornings came a little later and nights appeared earlier, but that’s what it meant to be in August. Summer was nearing its end and Lexa’s busy season was almost over. She had taken more time for herself in the last few weeks—longer breaks and an extra day here and there off. Echo knew it was something she had needed, and was more than capable of taking some of the reins to let Lexa go through what she needed to.

Lexa found herself spending more time on the beach, sans Anya. She used her time to collect her thoughts while simultaneously to bury memories she no longer wanted clouding her mind. On the days she felt up to it, she’d read the pages of Clarke’s book. After two weeks of this, she was finally nearing the end. The story had diverged from what Lexa had assumed would happen, and she found herself flipping through pages to see where the narrative was headed. Mirroring her life, things weren’t looking great for the two protagonists, but for the sake of fiction, she had hoped for the best outcome for the pair.

If she wanted to be honest with herself, the story drifted from her life’s narrative at the point in the book when the young couple had stopped talking. Lexa read bits about the lover who had left and made a decision on her own and caught herself wondering if these chapters had mirrored Clarke’s own life. She could only imagine so, reading how broken and shattered the girl left behind was—that was her own story.

The thing is, that’s where her own story stopped. That’s where she stopped relating to a fake character in a fake town with a fake broken heart.

It took her some time to get through the whole book, but when she finally did it, she had an odd sense of closure. There was no doubt that she was heartbroken from her second attempt with Clarke, but reading her book made her feel a little closer to her. It helped give her a glimpse into Clarke’s world and mind, and what Clarke was going through the first time their love had crumbled. There were anecdotes of ice cream cones and longboarding adventures. Stories of late-night bonfires and sneaking bottles of vodka from their parents. There was a love story interwoven between a story of friendship—two young girls falling in love with each other and being ripped apart because of one horrible decision. It was reminiscent of their past, and Lexa was keenly aware of it.

She reclined her beach chair and sunk her feet a little deeper into the sand, and reached for her phone and started to type. “Just finished. It’s all yours.”

A reply came back almost immediately. “Griff’s good with me reading it. I’ll grab it from you tonight.”

Lexa sighed as she tucked the phone back away. There was no doubt she had questions for Clarke, and no doubt that she was curious of her explanations, but it was August and Clarke would be leaving soon anyway.

\---

“I’ve gotta say,” Anya said with a mouthful of french fries, “Griff’s writing is pretty good. Really good, even.”

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded from behind the counter at the shack. Anya had been trying to find ways to pull Lexa back into a normal routine. Less sulking, and more fun. In recent days, she realized that Lexa was slowly coming around again—she was answering calls and texts, making time to go out for a drink, or even give in to Anya’s pleading to come over and watch trash TV. Lexa was slowly coming back to normal, and whether or not it had to do with finishing the book, Anya was grateful for it.

“One would assume that this ‘Anna’ character would be based off of me, right?” Anya’s eyes were affixed onto the page she was reading. “I mean, she’s pretty, she’s funny, and she’s sassy. She’s gotta be based off of me, right?”

Lexa hummed, “Yes, one would assume.”

“Yeah, and one would assume that this ‘Alicia’ would be you, but I’m not sure,” Anya smirked.

Lexa scrunched her nose. “How could you not be sure?”

“Well for starters, she’s written as this exquisitely gorgeous girl, but the type that doesn’t realize how attractive she is. She’s incredibly intelligent, she has an infectious sense of humor. She’s also kind, and compassionate, and caring, and loving,” Anya started with a sly grin plastered onto her face. “She’s too good to be some fictitious version of you.”

A stale roll of bread made its way from behind the counter to the back of Anya’s head. “I am all of those things, thank you very much.”

“Maybe in Clarke’s eyes,” Anya let out as her eyes continued to skim through the words on the page. “But seriously, come on. It’s like this book is a fucking love letter to you, Lex.”

“Far from it.”

“I’m sorry but am I reading the same thing you did?” Anya finally turned around to face her. “I didn’t know there were so many words to write about how beautiful the fucking color green is. If I find one more simile or metaphor about how it feels like getting lost in the goddamn ocean whenever Taylor looks into Alicia’s eyes, I’m seriously going to gag.”

“She writes well,” Lexa offered. “It’s just a story.”

“Oh. Just a story, huh?” Anya swung her chair around to fully face Lexa. “Is that what this is, Lex? Because last week, I’m pretty sure you were convinced this was a damn memoir that Clarke had come down here to finish.”

“I mean,” Lexa crossed her arms. “It’s a mixture of both. You can see that. You’re reading the same thing I did.”

“What did Clarke write while she was down here?” Anya asked.

Lexa shook her head. “I don’t know. The end?”

Anya cocked her head to the side. “Do you really think that in the time Clarke was here fixing up the house, working her normal job, and spending all that time with you, that she really had time to write the second half of this book, get through all the edits, and have it be approved to go to print?”

Lexa blinked. “It’s going to print?”

“Yeah, she mentioned it to me when I asked if I could read it after you,” Anya nodded. “She’s going to be a published author.”

“Wow,” Lexa nodded. “Well, good for her.” She slowly turned back around to face the grill she was in the middle of cleaning.

“Lex,” Anya sighed. “You should talk to her. Maybe you’ll feel better. Maybe what she has to say will be better than whatever conclusions you’ve jumped to.”

“I thought you said you weren’t doing any bidding for her,” Lexa muttered with her back still turned.

Anya took a deep breath. “For the last time, that’s not what I’m doing. You’re clearly torn up. If you’re so hellbent on holding this against her, then that’s on you. I’m just trying to make sure that this time around, you get some sense of closure.”

“There shouldn’t have even been a _this time around_ anyway,” Lexa started scrubbing the grill harder. “I should have never let it go as far as it did. It’s my own fault.”

“Don’t play that card,” Anya started as she rolled her eyes. “If you want to continue wallowing in self pity, then fine. But you’ve gotta stop acting like you have a stick shoved so far up your ass, Lex. You’re two grown ass women that have some sort of a past together. Do you really want to throw it all away so quickly?”

“She threw it all away when she lied,” Lexa quickly turned back around, raising her voice in volume.

Anya matched it, shaking her head. “She failed to mention something. And probably for a good reason. There’s a difference, Lex.”

“Seems like one in the same to me,” Lexa insisted from where she was standing.

“You’re really sticking to your guns on this one, huh?” Anya rubbed her temple. “I’m assuming you don’t want to give this another read before I give it back?”

“Nope. I’m done. With all of it.”

“You know what, Lexa?” Anya set the pages of the book down. She sat up a little straighter and gave Lexa a look that was reserved for the talking to she was about to give her best friend. “You do this all the time. You’ve done it ever since Clarke walked out on you when we were seventeen. You prepare for the worst and always always forget to hope for the best. You’ve basically been living a fucking life filled with self-fulfilling prophecies because you’re too guarded to actually let yourself be happy. You don’t do anything for yourself.”

“I bought the shack for myself,” Lexa quickly retorted.

“Yeah,” Anya scoffed. “Other than the shack, what else do you have that makes you happy? You run away from the prospect of anything else in life because you think it’s going to burn you in the end.”

“And who’s fault is that?” Lexa snarled.

“Yours,” Anya shook her head. “And until you stop leaving everything before it has a chance to leave you, this cycle is going to go on for fucking forever.”

\---

As the month was drawing to an end, Clarke couldn’t help but feel semi-relieved that the projects on the house were, too. She spaced out her task list to help make time for everything else she had going on, but all the re-tiling, painting, plastering, upgrades, and hardware replacements drained her more than she realized. With the property being freshly landscaped, the last two things she needed to do were repaint the shutters and have the front door replaced.

“I’ve gotta say, Clarke,” Lincoln stared at the house from his vantage point on the front lawn. “This has been a really fun project for me. You’ve really got an eye for this stuff. Made the work a lot easier on me.”

“It has been fun,” she smiled back at him. “Everything turned out amazing, I wouldn’t have been able to do this all without you, Linc.”

“Nah, you could have hired anyone and it would have come out the same,” he joked.

Clarke let out a laugh. “Yeah, but they wouldn’t have made it as entertaining.”

He wiggled his brows and rubbed his palms together. “I live to serve.”

Clarke laughed again, then turned her attention to the new door that was laying on the lawn. She initially thought the teal would bring a nice pop to the exterior, but was now hoping it wouldn’t be too much amongst all the ordinarily-colored doors that lined her quiet street, “You really think the color looks good?”

“It’s a little too late to second guess. You bought it on final sale, Clarke,” he laughed. “But yes. Classic white colonial with black shutters and an accent door. Iconic. Love it. Chip and Joanna Gaines would be proud. Let’s put it on.”

Replacing the front door and its frame seemed like a simple enough task. Clarke didn’t understand why Lincoln had initially told her he needed the full day and an electrician at his side. But after the first hour, she realized the task was nowhere near simple.

“Clarke, you honestly don’t have to sit out here and watch us if you have better things to do,” Lincoln offered. She was perched on a blanket on the front lawn, reading a stack of papers and scribbling notes on each page.

She looked up with a smile. “It’s nice out, I’m fine. Just getting some work done.”

He nodded, “Work work, or house work?”

“You’re doing the house work right now,” she grinned. “Work work. Making some notes for the launch of a new piece from our department.”

“Nice,” he smiled. He made sure the electrician was good with what he was doing before he made his way closer to Clarke. Closing the gap between them to have a more intimate conversation, he asked, “So has Anya gotten back to you with some realtors that could help out with the sale?”

“Sorta,” she shrugged as she dropped the mechanical pencil onto the stack of papers.

Lincoln raised a brow. “Sorta?”

Clarke nodded. “Yeah, she gave me a few names of people she trusts. But I haven’t really called anyone yet.”

“Gotcha,” he started. “Makes sense. I mean, wait for the house to be finished, get it appraised by someone you trust, and then bring the realtor in.”

“No,” she lightly shook her head. “I don’t know if I want to sell it.”

“Gotcha,” he started again with a smile. “I like that even better. You can just get Anya to manage the renters, and then you’ll have a place down here whenever you want it.”

Clarke let out a laugh, “No.” She took a deep breath, other than Marcus, her team, and a few chats with her mom, Lincoln would be the only other person in on her plan. “I’m thinking of staying a little longer.”

“You’re,” he raised both brows. “Oh. So you’re… Wow.”

Clarke gave him a questioning look. “Does that not seem like a good idea?”

“No, I mean,” he took a second to gather his thoughts. “I just mean, with the way you and Lexa left things off, I didn’t think you’d want to hang around. That’s all.”

“Yeah,” Clarke sighed. “I’m giving her the time and space she needs, but I still need to talk to her. I just hope she’ll let me in sooner rather than later. Being down here will be helpful with that.”

“So, you’re staying down here for Lexa?” He eyed her.

She shook her head. “I’m staying down here for me. I think I’m happier here. Or, at least I was last month. But I have hope.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, I’ll be rooting for you,” he gave her a playful nudge to the shoulder before heading back to his task at hand.

“Linc!” She called out from where she was sitting. “Keep this between us, will ya?”

He flashed her a smile before checking in with the electrician. “Sure thing, Clarke.”

\---

Anya eyed the bright orange chair with tropical leaf patterns strewn all over it, as it settled no closer than five inches from her own. In one fell swoop, the chair was planted and Clarke plopped down.

“What’s that?” Anya lifted her sunglasses to the top of her head as she tried to get a better look at the new piece of furniture.

Clarke turned to face her. “It’s a beach chair, Anya. And thanks for inviting me out here today.”

“No,” Anya rolled her eyes. “No shit it’s a beach chair. But why?”

“So I can sit on the beach?” Clarke shrugged. “Why are you being weird?”

“Because we have a locker that’s full of them,” Anya replied, still unsure of why this new purchase had been made. “You’ve literally used the same beach chair all summer, I just don’t get why you bought one towards the end of the season, that’s all.”

“We don’t have anything,” Clarke corrected. “Everything in that locker is Lexa’s and I’m not sure she’d be appreciative of me going in and taking things as I please. Plus, the season’s almost over, so I got a good deal on this one. It’s cute, right?”

“It’s got shoobie written all over it,” Anya smiled. “But yeah. Sure, it’s cute.”

“Don’t be a jerk,” Clarke scoffed.

Anya rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I’m glad you had time to come down here. I’ve been wanting to catch up with you.”

“I’m glad you called,” Clarke offered. “How’ve you been?”

The two had taken to texting occasionally, but Clarke knew that after Lexa left her house that day, that her relationship with Anya would change. The last three weeks had slowly and grudgingly passed by, but she found ways to keep herself busy. More time was spent with Lincoln putting the finishing touches on the house, more time was spent pouring her hours into work. The less time she had to think about her summer romance coming to an end, the better.

“It’s been an awful inconvenience trying to pull Lexa out of the miserable hole she’s found herself in,” Anya let out. “Care to tell me what that’s all about?”

“We both know what it’s about, Ahn,” Clarke sighed. “I’ve reached out, she won’t answer me. I’ve thought about going to the shack, but I don’t want to overstep.”

“Why’d you come down here this summer, Clarke?” Anya ignored the latter part of Clarke’s answer.

Clarke furrowed her brow. “I came down to fix up Nana’s house so I could sell it.”

“And to write your book,” Anya added.

“To finish my book,” Clarke corrected her. “I’ve been working on this for years, Anya. I had been through three full edits with my company already. I figured being back would help me get through my last round of revisions. You know, being in the place that inspired the story and everything.”

It was Anya’s turn to correct her. “You mean, being in the place with the person that inspired the story.”

“Jesus,” Clarke scoffed. “Is that what you think? That I came back down here for some personal gain and to use Lexa just so I could get this thing to print?”

“No, that’s not what I think,” Anya rolled her eyes. “But it’s what Lexa thinks. I’ve been telling her to talk to you, by the way. To understand why you kept this a secret in the first place.”

“I wanted to wait until I had the final green light,” Clarke shook her head. “I knew it wouldn’t feel real until then. I wanted to surprise her. I thought after reading it, she would have understood what I really felt back then. That she’d realize how sorry I was for that.”

“You’re both morons,” Anya sighed. “Truly.”

“It was always meant to be my apology and love letter to her,” Clarke exhaled.

“Honestly, Griff,” Anya offered her a weak smile. “That was my takeaway after reading it. It was pretty good.”

Clarke softened at the words, “Yeah?”

“Yeah, it was really good,” Anya nodded. “I mean, listen. I’m more of a crime thriller kind of gal. But if I was into all this romance shit, this would be my jam. It’s like a super gay Nicholas Sparks kind of story. The kind of thing that’ll get turned into an awful Hallmark channel movie.”

“Thanks,” Clarke twisted her face. “I think?”

“It was a compliment,” Anya shrugged. “After Lexa finished it, she said she thought it was good, too. Said that you write well.”

“That’s nice to hear,” Clarke nodded with a sad smile.

“She’s hurt,” Anya started. “She’s hurt because she lets her mind wander to the very worst, and I don’t think anyone can blame her for that. She’s had some shit luck in her life, and she lets that outweigh anything good that comes her way. But I’m hoping that you guys can get some sense of closure before you decide to head back north.”

“I might be down here a little longer than I had originally planned,” Clarke whispered.

Anya immediately leaned closer to her. “Wait. What?”

Clarke sighed as she tossed her hands upwards. “It’s felt good being here. Part of me doesn’t want to leave.”

“But, what about work?” To say Anya was shook would be an understatement.

“Yeah,” Clarke let out a breath. “Figured that out already. They’re okay with me staying longer. We have to come up with a consistent schedule for me heading back up every now and then, but that’ll be easy.”

Anya was still in disbelief. “Wow. So, for how long? And can I ask why?”

“I want to tell you,” Clarke lowered her head. “But I think I have to tell her first.”

“Okay,” Anya nodded. “Well now that you’ve got a little more time, here’s hoping that’s sooner rather than later.”

“If I had a drink in my hand, I’d cheers to that,” Clarke shook her head as she ran her hand through her hair.

“Speaking of drinks,” Anya smiled. “Now that you’re becoming a resident for a little longer, how would you like to attend your first end-of-year bonfire as a non-shoobie?”

“Wow,” Clarke laughed at the realization. “You can’t call me that anymore now that I might be here past summer, huh?”

“I mean, let’s be real. You’ll always be our shoobie princess, Griff,” Anya smiled back. “You should come, though. It’ll be good.”

“I don’t know,” Clarke started. “I don’t want to show up somewhere while Lexa’s trying to have a good–”

“She’s not coming,” Anya interrupted. “Like I said, she’s deep in a hole of misery. She bailed on us this year, and I wasn’t about to convince her to come just for her to mope around and be a killjoy.”

“I wish she’d just call me back,” Clarke sighed.

Anya rested her hand on Clarke’s shoulder, “She’ll have to come around sooner or later. Just give her a little more time to realize it.”

“Yeah, I hope,” Clarke brought her hand to squeeze Anya’s. “Anya? I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell her that I was thinking of staying longer. I want everything to come from me.”

“Yeah,” Anya nodded. “Okay.”

\---

It was a slow night. A flat and dead and slow night. It was to be expected, though. It was the same story every last Friday in August. The town’s annual end-of-season beach bonfire was set to commence any minute, and townies and shoobies alike were stocking up on cases of beer, boxes of wine, cheap liquor, and all the snacks they could think of. It was a tradition in their community for a proper end of season send-off for the summer residents, and a celebration for those who lived in the area to have their space back for themselves.

Like usual, the crowds were massive, and the areas were split. While some townies and shoobies mingled and celebrated newfound friendships, the younger, more rambunctious groups were further down the beach away from the boardwalk, where the more matured crowds gathered closeby.

Voices from the boardwalk could be heard from the shack. Hootin’ and hollerin’ and excitement resonated for the festivities to begin.

“You should head out, Echo,” Lexa started as she came inside from the back door. She was thankful it was quieter inside, than it was out by the dumpster. “We’re almost done, anyway. It seems like everyone’s heading to the beach.”

Echo looked up from the table she was wiping down and quickly scanned the room. “I think between the two of us, we’ve only got fifteen more minutes left, anyway. I’m not in a rush. The bonfire will be there all night.”

“That’s for sure,” Lexa offered a half smile.

Echo made her way across the room to where Lexa was. “You sure you don’t want to come? You’ve never missed one.”

“I’m good,” Lexa nodded. “I’ve got a hot date with my bathtub and my bed.”

“One drink,” Echo tried.

Lexa took a deep breath. “I don’t know. I’m not really in the mood.”

“It’s tradition,” Echo urged. “One drink and if you want to leave, then go. But you should at least show face. I’d assume everyone is expecting to see you there, anyway.”

“Maybe that’s why I don’t want to go,” Lexa joked.

Echo swatted her shoulder. “One drink. Come on.”

“Fine,” Lexa sighed before repeating her. “One drink. Then I’m going home.”

\---

Clarke took a moment to eye the people standing around the big wooden fixture, before leaning over to Anya and Lincoln, “This is not how I remembered it.”

A large bonfire was ablaze far enough from the boardwalk, but close enough not to be put out by the nighttime tide. The crowd surrounding her varied from people from town as well as visitors that were only there for the summer, but it was more tame than she had recalled previous bonfires to be. Kegs were replaced with expensive coolers full of local craft beers, garbage cans full of jungle juice were replaced with recycling bins for all the aluminum cans and glass bottles.

“Remember when I told you we were boring?” Anya smirked. “The kids party down that way,” she pointed her nose to the far distance where another fire could faintly be seen. “If you stay out late enough, crowds start to mingle, but after last year I’m not sure I’ll be partaking in that.”

Anya shot Lincoln a knowing look.

Clarke turned her head between the two. “What happened last year?”

“I drank too much,” Lincoln answered, nonchalant, as he opened a can of a seasonal summer ale.

He earned a scoff from Anya. “Don’t underplay it, Linc. You were trying to score with those shoobies and you made an ass out of yourself.” She turned to face Clarke. “Seriously. He was like a bull in a china shop. He broke everything that was in his path.”

“She’s exaggerating,” he sighed in Clarke’s direction. “Not _everything_ ,” he corrected.

For the amount of time they were there, the three hung together while hopping in and out of friendly catch-ups with other local residents. They had their normal crowd that they let into their small circle on multiple occasions, and they were all familiar faces to Clarke from her childhood. These faces had been sprinkled throughout her time this summer in Ocean City. Niylah was running the boardwalk’s biggest souvenir shop, Gaia had taken over her mom’s ice cream shop, and Roan was bartending at one of the biggest tourist bars in town.

Clarke was grateful to have a few more familiar faces around her, and she was actually happy to find out that night would be much more tamer than she had expected.

“Can I get you another drink, Clarke?” Niylah asked after she noticed Clarke had been nursing an empty bottle in her hand for longer than necessary.

Clarke looked down at the bottle before standing up. “Actually, I’ll come with. I’m not sure what I want next.”

Coolers were set up around the perimeter of the activities, and everyone brought more than enough to trade or grab whatever they pleased. Niylah led the way to where her haul was being chilled.

“Hey,” Niylah offered as she opened the cooler. “I’m sorry about you and Lexa, by the way. Anya mentioned it the other week.”

“Oh,” Clarke sighed as she browsed through the cooler. “Yeah, thanks.” She hoped that her lack of conversation was taken for indecisiveness of a choice of beer. Her eyes scanned the large cooler and finally let out a single laugh at the handwritten title on the can in her hand. It was definitely local, with the prints of the Ocean City and Maryland flags wrapping around it, and the handwritten brew name, _It’s Getting HOT in Beer!_ “What’s this one? Any good?”

“Love that one,” Niylah nodded. “It’s a mango and habanero ale. Little sweet, little spicy. Definitely a fun summer one.”

“Sounds like a winner to me,” Clarke smiled as Niylah grabbed one for herself. “Thanks for the beer.”

“Anytime, Clarke,” Niylah shared a contented smile. “So. Lincoln was saying the house was finished and that it looks great. That it’s probably the nicest one in the neighborhood now. That’s pretty exciting.”

“Yeah,” Clarke cracked her beer open and took a sip. “He worked wonders with it. I’m more than happy with how everything turned out.”

Niylah led the way back to where Anya, Lincoln, and the others were seated, and Clarke followed suit. She took notice of Clarke squinting upon a second sip. “Do you hate it?”

“No, no,” Clarke cleared her throat and smiled. “It’s good. Just a little spicy.”

“I was wondering,” Niylah leaned in. “Maybe one of these days, you and I could go to the brewery and–” she paused at the expression strewn across Clarke’s face. She looked over to where the blue eyes had wandered and noticed Lexa and Echo approaching the rest of the group. “Oh.”

“I should head out,” Clarke said. Her eyes were still on Lexa, and Lexa had finally taken notice of her as well. “I just need to grab my things.”

\---

Lexa knew she shouldn’t have come. She shouldn’t have let Echo talk her into it, and she shouldn’t have believed for a second what her mind had been coercing her into thinking—that Clarke wouldn’t be there.

“You didn’t tell me she was going to be here,” she grit through her teeth at both Anya and Echo, all while finally breaking the short eye contact she had shared with Clarke.

“I literally had no idea!”

“I didn’t think you were coming!”

They squealed in unison.

“It’s not a big deal,” Anya offered. “Can you just be an adult?”

Echo shook her head, “Lexa. Had I known, I wouldn’t have forced–”

“No,” Lexa sighed. “Anya’s right. Let me get this over with, and then I’m going to head home.”

“Here,” Anya offered Lexa the beer in her hand. “Chug that and take some of the edge off. Try to wipe the scowl from your face, too. It isn’t very cute.”

“I’m not trying to be cute,” Lexa begrudgingly crushed the beer. “But thanks.”

Lexa opened a second beer that was tucked in the pocket of Anya’s chair. “You weren’t going to drink this, were you?” She knew she only had a few seconds before Clarke would be back.

“Easy, tiger,” Anya huffed before grabbing the can. “I was. Thanks for opening it for me.” She eyed Clarke and Niylah as they started to make their approach. “Hey, Lex. Don’t forget what I said the other night, okay? If something’s meant to be good, then just let it be good.”

“Hey, Lexa,” Niylah offered a smile and a wave.

Lexa nodded in her direction as she let Anya’s words resonate before she turned to Clarke. “Do you have a second?”

“I was just gonna grab my things and head home, but sure. If you want,” Clarke said, hesitant.

“Yeah, it’ll just be a minute,” Lexa said, before she turned to find a quieter place where they could talk. “Maybe up that way?”

“Lead the way,” Clarke nodded.

As the pair started off into the distance, the group they had left behind watched in silence.

“Well,” Anya finally spoke up. “Wonder how that’s gonna go.”

\---

After a few short minutes, the two finally made their way to the boardwalk entrance. It was like the stretch of wooden planks had turned into a ghost town, with almost everyone celebrating on the beach. They found a bench and Lexa was first to take a seat.

“Hi,” she offered a half smile. There was no doubt that she was still feeling the sting. Still hurt. Still confused. But the way the moonlight glistened down on Clarke, she couldn’t help but lift the corners of her mouth. Clarke looked like she did years and years and years ago, when they were just girls on the beach.

Clarke’s expression softened at the uptick of Lexa’s lips as she took a seat a safe distance from her. “Hi.”

“I’m sorr–”

“I’m sorr–”

They started at once.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Clarke quickly added. “But I want to understand what upset you so much. It’s been weeks, Lex. Weeks of nothing after months of literally everything. I need to understand what you were feeling so I can fix this.”

Lexa sighed. “Do you think it’s worth fixing? Will it really be worth you coming back and forth between here and New York after a failed second attempt?”

“Lexa,” Clarke shook her head. “Stop jumping the gun. We spent a lot of time wrapped up in each other this summer, but it feels like we didn’t spend enough time talking. Let’s do this the right way, okay? Help me understand.”

Talking to Clarke was never hard for her—not when it came to things that made her happy. The last time Clarke had upset her, she didn’t give Lexa the time to talk about the upsetting things. This was uncharted territory for Lexa. She took a deep breath before she finally stated. “It felt like you lied to me.” Another breath, “Anya said it’s not lying, per se. But omission of truth. I argued that the two are one in the same.”

“I agree with you,” Clarke nodded. “They are one in the same, especially when it’s coming from someone that loves you.”

“Okay…” Lexa wasn’t sure where Clarke was going with it. She sighed before making the error of letting her eyes linger on Clarke’s. The sting, the hurt, the confusion that she felt—it was staring right back at her.

“From my perspective, I didn’t want to talk about the book until I knew it was actually going to turn into a book,” Clarke exhaled. “I poured so much of myself into it over the years that it felt like talking about it before I had the green light would just be jinxing it.”

“I get that, Clarke,” Lexa nodded. “But the book—it’s more or less about this place. About the people you’ve met down here.”

“About you,” Clarke said what Lexa wasn’t willing to say. “You’re right. And you should have known about it, so I owe you an apology for that, Lexa.”

Lexa took another deep breath. “How much of it was written before you came down here in May, Clarke? What were you trying to get out of being here?”

“Lexa,” she started. “If you think I came down here to get an ending to this story, then I need you to realize that’s not what this was. It’s been written from start to finish for over two years now. I’ve gone through rounds of revisions and edits with work. I needed more rigor, more passion, more depth. I didn’t come down here for a plot. I needed to be somewhere where I could unplug and actually think. Be somewhere that felt inspiring to me. I figured why not go to the place that inspired the story to begin with.” Clarke tested the waters. She kept their bodies at a distance, but moved her fingers to graze over Lexa’s. “You read it, yeah?”

Lexa nodded.

“Our story,” Clarke smiled. “Our story that you know stopped at the beginning of the book when _she_ left.” Clarke referenced the book’s lead character.

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded again. The feeling of Clarke’s fingertips against her own felt nice, and she decided not to pull away. “Yeah, I know.”

“I am sorry, Lexa. I am,” Clarke clasped the hand under hers into her own. “There will never be a lack of communication on my part ever again. I promise.”

“Is this going to be worth all the back and forth?” Lexa asked again. “And what about when you decide to ultimately go back to New York? When you realize the pace of life down here is too slow for you?”

“Lexa,” Clarke shook her head. “I am promising that there will never be a lack of communication from me, but you need to promise that you’ll talk to me instead of coming up with these worst-case scenarios in your head, okay?”

Lexa cocked her head to the side.

After a beat, Clark admitted, “I’m staying here. The house is done. Lincoln and I finished two weeks ago. I’m not listing it. I’m staying.”

Lexa blinked as rapidly as her heart was racing, “You’re not listing it?”

“I love you,” Clarke shrugged. “I walked away when we were younger, Lex. I didn’t realize the impact of that—not until this summer, not until I re-read my book again. That book consumed so much of my life. I’ve been pouring my heart into it for years, and so much of it had to do with you. I spent this summer getting to know you again, falling in love with you again. There’s no way I’m going to walk away again.”

“You’re staying,” Lexa stated.

Clarke nodded. “I am. Are you okay with that?”

Another half smile appeared on Lexa’s face. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Absolutely,” Clarke smiled as she inched her body closer to Lexa’s.

“As long as this is really what you want. As long as you’re happy with it,” Lexa offered as her half smiled turned whole.

Clarke leaned in and brought their lips together. The feeling was far too missed, and she found her lips as greedy as they were during their first kiss that summer at the bar. She mumbled, “I’m more than happy, Lex. It took me a long time to realize it. Maybe even too long. But I’ve never felt so connected to a place than I do here. I’ve never felt more connected to anyone than I do with you. This is it for me.”

\---

A cool breeze swept through the house. Air conditioning was traded for open windows and the faint smell of the ocean. It was the turn of the season. Gone were the fleeting warm days that allowed for anyone to continue working on their tans. The only beachgoers left in town were sporting long sleeves and sweatshirts.

“Clarke,” Abby called from the other bedroom. “Are you sure you don’t want to move your furniture in here? It’s so much more spacious.”

“I like my room,” Clarke answered back. “That can be your room when you visit.”

“I’m not sure how often I’ll be coming down here in the winter, honey,” Abby wrinkled her nose. “A beach town, covered in snow?”

“I don’t know. Doesn’t the beach covered in snow sound much more pleasant than black ice on city sidewalks, and dog pee-stained heaps of snow at every intersection?”

Abby nodded in concession. “Maybe you’re onto something…”

“Thanks for driving the rest of the boxes down,” Clarke smiled at her mom. They had taken the day to go through a few and start decorating the house. Clarke’s move from New York had been slow, but she figured she had another two months on her city apartment’s lease, so there was no major rush. Abby gratefully took it upon herself to pack up what Clarke had left behind from her previous trip. And though it was a minimal amount, she was still extremely grateful.

“Of course, dear,” Abby hugged her daughter. “I can’t believe you live down here now. You’re all grown up. You have your own house, you’re on your way to becoming a published author. What’s next? Wedding bells?” Abby wiggled her eyebrows as she clasped her hands together.

“Mom!” Clarke yelped. “Lexa’s going to be here any minute and I don’t need you scaring her away. This is like, my third go around.”

“Third and final, hopefully,” Lexa’s voice came through the doorway. “Sorry to interrupt, I just got here.”

“There she is!” Abby beamed as she raced towards Lexa to give her a hug. “Eleven years. My God. I’m so happy to see you, Lexa.”

“You too, Dr. Griffin,” Lexa smiled into the embrace. “Hopefully another eleven won’t go by until the next time.”

“I doubt that,” Clarke rolled her eyes at the display. “I’m trying to convince Mom we should do Thanksgiving down here this year.”

“Mmm,” Lexa agreed. “Football on the beach after dinner is a must have.”

“And on the off chance we spend the holiday in New York?” Abby raised a brow. “I’d hope that you’d join us, Lexa?”

Lexa placed a soft kiss on Clarke’s cheek. “I’ll be wherever she is.”

Abby nodded. “Exactly the answer to give the mother of your girlfriend. I see this working out magically already, girls.” Abby took another look around the room. “Clarke, if you don’t need my help up here, I’m going to start on dessert. Anya will be joining us for dinner, right?”

“She should be here in an hour or so,” Lexa offered. “Do you need a hand with anything?”

“I’m making Nana’s cobbler,” Abby smirked. “Clarke told me you’ve mastered it, so I’ve been trying to practice also. You two relax, I’ll see you in a bit.”

Clarke leaned into Lexa’s side. “I missed you today.”

“Me too,” Lexa kissed the top of her head. “Wanna sit outside for a little? It’s pretty nice out.”

They made their way down the stairs and out the front door and each took a side on Clarke’s favorite swinging bench. The warmth of the sun balanced out the cool breeze, and both women were more than content.

“I’ve never had such a beautiful autumn,” Clarke gave Lexa’s hand a squeeze as she gently rocked the bench.

“You’ve never been down here after summer,” Lexa started. “We have the most beautiful falls.” She reached across for a kiss and then leaned her forehead against Clarke’s. “But I think this is the most beautiful one I’ve seen yet.”


End file.
